Standing Tall, or standing still
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Haven't blogged in a while, I'd like to say it's because I've been busy, fact is I've just lost all motivation. Thought I'd be further along with this whole diet thing. Thought I'd be further along in my career. Closer to finding someone.
Fact is I cant shake this melancholy feeling, and its become detrimental. For a couple years I've had my heart set on going to fire school. Boot camp -esque, it takes a lot of hard work, determination, dedication. I'm finally enlisted and class is ready to start- too bad I'm far from it. What happened? Why cant I seem to get anything done. The consequences for me being unprepared are daunting, is that not motivation enough?
I still can't shake this loneliness either. Always proud of my independence, I now find it a burden. Thought I'd be slim and trim, ready to kick some ass with my new physique- the the confidence, as well as the sexy body seem to be on back order.
I feel like I'm standing still, treading water. Just trying to get through another day. Sadly I could just as easily pass the time sleeping as anything else. Where's my zip, my spunk? I had great determination and confidence at one time; where did it go? How do I get it back, and will it come too late for me to be successful at my goal?