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DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER

Sunday, January 24, 2010


December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the hubby and I took
our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft
flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!


December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch
of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely
place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time this season and felt like a young girl again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.. Such a disappointment! My
neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No
snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the
end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's
possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Bought snow tires for the hubby's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. My hubby wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.


December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway
putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The hubby laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.


December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing
to do but stare at my hubby and try not to irritate him. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to him. God I hate it when he's
right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.


December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last
night. More shovelling! Took all day. The darn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy
playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around
to see about buying a snow blower since ours died and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.


December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white
crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to
pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired
to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to zero. My hubby wanted me
to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is he, nuts?!! Why
didn't he tell me to do that a month ago? He says he did but I think he's lying.


December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I
was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a b---ch who drives
that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his yahoos and beat him
to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and
waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the
hubby wanted me to sing Christmas carols with him and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the fricken snow plow.


December 25
Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the d*mn slop tonight -
Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. Good grief, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. My hubby says I have a bad attitude. I think
he's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more
time, I'm going to stuff him into the microwave.


December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HIS idea. He's really getting on my nerves.


December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14
hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.


December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. My husband is driving me crazy!!!


December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?


December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me
for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying
to shove the broken snow shovel up his keister. Nine more inches predicted.


December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling.


January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD4019666
    Getting caught up and just saw this today emoticon . You are priceless Shannon! Loved it.
    4052 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/31/2010 4:44:09 PM
  • SUSAN134
    LOL, Shannon this is so funny - in a very sad, oh-so-true way!

    So far this year we haven't had half as much snow as last year, but I'm still waiting for a huge snowstorm to wallop us.


    Hugs!
    4052 days ago
  • MONKEYGETSFIT
    You should ask my Mom (MJMEISSN) if a specific memory I have of her in little black mustang ran off into a ditch on an icy road once is a valid memory.

    Laughing at her comment about idiot drivers brought that memory to mind.

    emoticon
    4055 days ago
  • MJMEISSN
    Hilarious!! But it does remind me of why I live in South Texas.
    We think it is cold here if it gets below 60! Never mind the fact that a little snow or ice on our roads and the idiot drivers are all in ditches!
    4055 days ago
  • MONKEYGETSFIT
    This was absolutely hilarious. If you wrote this, you have more blogging talent than you give yourself credit for.

    emoticon
    4057 days ago
  • HEALTHY4LIFE360
    Loved the blog! It's nice for the first snowfall then you can't wait for SPRING to come! As SILVRBACK says ...we've experienced some warmth (it's raining today). But alas - I know it will get cold again.
    4058 days ago
  • DACIUS
    And that my dear is why I live in Florida. I listen to my neighbors and people at work talk about how they would like to have snow. Well I remember snow. it is awesome!!!! for about 15 minutes. You know... the time it takes for the water to sift through your shoes and wetten your socks... the time it takes for your carpet to be ruined by the muck your shoes track in. That is about as long as the novelty lasts. Blech!!!!

    I will stay down here in my 100 degree temperatures. BRING ON THE SUMMER!!!!
    4058 days ago
  • JKSTEIN123
    Sounds like me! Man I hate the snow.. Good story
    4059 days ago
  • SI1V3RBACK

    Hahhaha. Being Canadian I can relate to that all too well. But January has been unusually nice here. A lot of snow in December but then it just seemed to stop and the temperature has be just below freezing rather than the usual -20 to -30 weather. Oh and I've felt the sting of the spouse being right as you know so well.
    4059 days ago
  • NOTABOUTHEFACE
    This is one of my faves. It's altered a little but I saw this like 15 years ago, printed it out and still read it every winter!!
    4059 days ago
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