i thought i got rid of you.
i thought that after running, walking, aerobics, i would actually kiss you good-bye. and why? because i would be able to! that's why. i would be able to bend my back forward, vertebrae by vertebrae and kiss your cherub chubby ass (even though you are a belly) goodbye.
i stood taller without you.
i walked, strutted, glided through rooms because i was free from you. i breathed better. i laughed harder. i wasn't scared to reach over my head in fear that you would stick out......just to say hello. I even thought of glamorizing the absence of you, with a piercing.
and now...... YOU'RE BACK!
you must have conspired with Ankle and made sure she buckled during our daily belly dancing sessions and video exercising. you made sure she buckled so bad, that Knee would give out.
you wanted to call it a "come back."
and now.....here you are, ever so slightly hanging over my jeans while you giggle as people call you pet names like "love handles" and best yet "muffin top."
you always loved the spotlight, didn't you?!
i remember the days when we used to get along. remember? we were about three. ma used to blow raspberries on you and i would laugh till you ache. dad used to tickle you whenever i acted sassy.
and we were one. until maybe junior high school, when i started to take notice of you.
i was afraid of you. i was afraid of you finding out that having a belly was "not fashionable." that it wouldn't make me popular. that the bigger the belly, the more deeper down in the teenage caste system i would plunge. that you would not be having this and to revolutionize this societal rule and to liberate young women in this slave mentality, you would take stand, and stand taller (or more so, outwardly), to take a stance and give a BIG middle finger(that's the nice way to say it, LMAO!) to every teen socialite whose best friends after meals are a finger and the porcelain throne.
And i, secretly fought you...getting up at 6am to exercise during high school
its years later, and as all revolutions tend to go, resolution is slow.
i'm still in battle with you.
when will i learn that battling you, is battling myself. you are part of me. you cushion me. you are part of my core, at size 8 as well as at size 18.
if i took the actual action of hugging you, bending forward, vertebrae by vertebrae, and instead of kissing you goodbye, wrapping my arms around you, will mean i will also be...
hugging myself. :)) So, if loving you means loving me THEN I can truly be free...... well, if you really need to hear it, I love you....more than words can say. See, you protected all three of my children and took great pride in this task, you even welcomed the occasional rub from friends. And so since I love you, I'm determined to treat you right...no need to bloat to get my attention....I hear you loud and clear and believe me, all this work..... is because I care.
i am trying to evolve, belly. ....i am trying.