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#242: Feeling Melancholy

Friday, February 26, 2010

When I write these daily blogs I try to be uplifting, encouraging and inspiring, if possible. Today, though, I can't do that. Melancholy -- mental alienation characterized by gloom, depression, dejection, sadness -- has captured my spirit and won't let go.

This is not the normal me today. Not as upbeat as usual although I have had a relatively nice day so far -- lunch with a friend, paying bills that turned out to be less than I anticipated (always good news), dinner with another friend -- and for that I apologize.

I think much of this has to do with the fact that an elderly friend, the one from lunch, has asked to stay with me while he and his wife try to patch up their marriage. If they don't reconcile, I'm afraid I may end up being his caretaker the way his health is going. It's not a responsibility I'm prepared to undertake and for that I'm feeling guilty.

I am grateful I can offer shelter to a friend in need. And I'm happy to reorganize my schedule to fit in taking him to his doctor's appointments.

So why do I feel so, I don't know, worn out over this? Maybe that's it, that I'm simply tired. I know I've fought back and forth over posting this thinking I'm being too sensitive or proud or selfish or something.

Have you had a day such as this one? When you don't quite feel in synch with the world and with yourself?

Deep inside, I'm still mellow, but somewhat troubled today and am not sure why.

Still, I know with the grace of God that this mood, too, shall pass and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I hope you have a pleasant evening.
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  • GIBBLES5
    I didn't read everyone else said, but I am sure we have all dealt with a similar day to this, where something has ate away are our mind and our spirit. I don't know what it is, but sometimes I feel like I have so much to deal with with my own life that I am over-extending myself trying to help the needs of others. I don't know what the answers are.... but there has to be better days ahead.

    emoticon
    4020 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6035648
    Hmm.. The best advice I can give you on this situation would be to pray on it, and ask God for guidance. If you do not have peace about letting your friend stay with you, then do NOT do it. Do not let guilt guide you. That would be a huge mistake.
    My prayer for you is that you will have peace about your decision, whatever it may be..
    4021 days ago
  • SHEILA1505
    May I make a comment here - everyone is talking about the practicalities of accommodating him (or not) but no-one has mentioned the strain this would put on your friendship with the Couple. No doubt the wife is also a friend of yours?? Wouldn't you appear to be taking sides - and if they reconcile this would damage your friendship forever.

    Any trust between you and the wife could be destroyed unwittingly

    Are you willing to risk the friendship in this way?

    You can still help by taking him to appointments - meet on neutral ground - and offer a shoulder and ear - to both of them.

    Just a few thoughts - once bitten twice shy, as they say!
    4021 days ago
  • BUSSMOM
    Tough decision for you Lou. Sorry to hear that your friend is having problems in his marriage. That alone can sadden one's heart.

    I pray that God settle your heart and that the answer you give your friend is one that God guides you to.

    Please keep us posted.

    Praying for you,

    -Maribeth
    4021 days ago
  • GEODAWG
    You are feeling overwhelmed by his request and I don't blame you! This is a HUGE request. I hope you have not said yes yet. Sharing space with a loved one can be a challenge; sharing with a friend can destroy the friendship or worse.
    Years ago my sister and her teen daughter had to move in with me. I asked her to. Made sure she had her own bed instead of putting it in storage. Was thrilled that she was in my home----for about a week. I saw my sister as I never had before. I could not wait to find her another home!
    Think long and hard before you take this step. It sounds as if the friend has health issues and that adds a lot of burden on you. If you are an angel on earth I am sure you could make it work. However, what will be the cost to your sanity and your life?

    I don't blame you one bit for feeling down. Your gut feeling is telling you the answer you need to give to this friend.
    I hope I haven't upset you. I can be pretty blunt!
    4021 days ago
  • PEPPERLEAH
    I pray you will soon be feeling better.
    4021 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2833646
    emoticon Lou emoticon
    Peace be with you, Lou.
    I'm praying for you and the situation.
    emoticon
    4021 days ago
  • SPARKLOVE
    To every problem there are many solutions- if you feel tired put off thinking about this for tonight. Pray about it, then go over all your friends possible solutions including ones that don't include you. Maybe the best thing you can do for him is give him some guidance. If you do take your elderly friend in , make sure you have a clear understanding with him - that it is temporary . If he has the means to help out ....what you expect from him in the way of room and board and any rules that you would think wise to have in place.

    Lou, I feel like you when I have a decision to make. After I make a decision I always feel better. Last month I was not thrilled at the thought of my 41 year old daughter moving in with me because we are as different as night and day ....I can make allowances for others difference , but she is highly critical of me because we are different and she has never been supportive of any of my goals. But after going over solutions with her I could see she was between a rock and a hard place . I ask myself What would LOVE do? I took her in and have ask nothing from her so she could say for a deposit on her own place. After I prayed, went over other solutions and ask myself what love would do - I put dread aside and embraced helping her with a joyful spirit. God does not expect us to help others beyond our means to do so . Only you can figure out what to do.
    My prayers are with you. Joy
    4021 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/26/2010 9:14:40 PM
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    I think perhaps it's because you care and you don't like seeing your friends in such pain. Praying that it will work itself out. Both parties have to be willing. Let's pray to that end.

    emoticon
    4021 days ago
  • MOMMA_LITTLE
    Oh, Lou, I could tell your heart is in a quandary over what to do about your friend. You really want to have a servant heart, but when YOU are tired, you're not doing yourself any favors by adding more to your responsibilities. I do know that if this is what the Lord wishes for you to do, HE will give you the strength you need to do it. I'll be praying for you tonight. I hope all goes well for you. Your friend, Lori
    4021 days ago
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