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what put me here..

Friday, March 12, 2010

I am 20 years old, and from a multi-cultural family. All of the women in my family have always been large, and 2 have already had gastric bypasses. I will not be one of those women. I am large don't get me wrong and I am not judging, but when it comes to the women of my family I have a little bit of a deep seeded distaste for them. since I was 7 i had been called thunder thighs, and hippo hips by my aunt (one of the two). Since I was 8 my own mother made me partake in her diest plans. Tell me that isnt wrong. How badly it screwed with my self image, and metabolism. what's even sicker is when I would lose 24 pounds at age 9 and she'd make me stop because I lost more weight then she did. once I packed on the pounds again and was a little harder to look at I had to go on another diet.. I had been on atkins, south beach, weight watchers, LA weight loss, and was forced into belimic tendencies because I was a ballerina. I am now 20 and in no better shape then i have ever been, im exactly the same. and it's time for a change, but for me. I want to feel the confidence walking down the street, I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror and I dont wanna smack people in the face with my love handles when I board a plane. This is my chance to do it for the right person and not care what anyone thinks but me. Now when I cheat Ill be cheating myself and not really getting away with anything. This is my chance, and I'm going to grab the bull by the horns. baby steps lead to big success and all I have to say is I'm tired of being a muffin..!!!! :-)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    yes i too come from a curvy family, but i have never been thin so i'd be extatic to see 140, let alone my goal of 125. thanks for adding me! :-) keep in touch i enjoy seeing comments from someone in a similar situation!
    3999 days ago
    Thank you so much for the goodie, I appreciate that! I've noticed that pictures of me when I'm overweight (like now) show that not being as tall as others makes it harder to carry the weight as well. My mom and her sisters are almost 6 feet tall (I took after my dad's side of the family which are much shorter) and they can carry it much better even though they weigh a lot more than me.

    I'm also very short waisted, curvy (large hips even when at a normal weight) so I'll never be a skinny looking person no matter how much weight I lose, but I sure would be a lot more thrilled this time around to be 129 or so than when I was previously at that weight. :-)

    4000 days ago
    I really appretiate you taking the time to read my blog. I totally get yah, im 5'4" and weigh the same as my 5'9" sister in law and would LOVE to look like her lol. I appretiate the support:-)
    4000 days ago
    You definitely have to do this for yourself because you are the one in your body, not anyone else.

    I'm sorry about the awful names you were/are called by your family members. Family should be supportive, not destructive. I don't have a very supportive family either (referring to my birth family). All of my mom's sisters are overweight and have struggled with their weight for as long as I can remember.

    I was always thin growing up but gained weight in my adulthood due to emotional eating (major dysfunctional family and childhood). My mom and her sisters are all tall so it doesn't look quite as bad on them as it does on me (I'm only 5' 4 1/2" tall).

    I don't have to be like them and don't have to pass down the same emotional eating to my daughter as I watched my mother and aunts do when I was growing up. I have watched them over the years just eat (almost inhale to be honest) food without even being conscience of what they were doing and barely chewing.

    We can change ourselves and not them, just hang in there and despite the negative things around you, you can achieve what you want to.
    4002 days ago
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