what put me here..

I am 20 years old, and from a multi-cultural family. All of the women in my family have always been large, and 2 have already had gastric bypasses. I will not be one of those women. I am large don't get me wrong and I am not judging, but when it comes to the women of my family I have a little bit of a deep seeded distaste for them. since I was 7 i had been called thunder thighs, and hippo hips by my aunt (one of the two). Since I was 8 my own mother made me partake in her diest plans. Tell me that isnt wrong. How badly it screwed with my self image, and metabolism. what's even sicker is when I would lose 24 pounds at age 9 and she'd make me stop because I lost more weight then she did. once I packed on the pounds again and was a little harder to look at I had to go on another diet.. I had been on atkins, south beach, weight watchers, LA weight loss, and was forced into belimic tendencies because I was a ballerina. I am now 20 and in no better shape then i have ever been, im exactly the same. and it's time for a change, but for me. I want to feel the confidence walking down the street, I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror and I dont wanna smack people in the face with my love handles when I board a plane. This is my chance to do it for the right person and not care what anyone thinks but me. Now when I cheat Ill be cheating myself and not really getting away with anything. This is my chance, and I'm going to grab the bull by the horns. baby steps lead to big success and all I have to say is I'm tired of being a muffin..!!!! :-)