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#262: Sometimes Positive Is Not Enough

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Although it may take practice, it is fairly easy to become an upbeat person, relatively mellow, slow to become annoyed and encouraged by the positive aspects of problems.

But what happens when being positive is not enough? When sadness and loneliness struggle to envelope us? When thoughts of relatives who have passed on and friends who are far away strike us? What do we do then?

For me, tonight, after dinner I watered the lawn and thought of how much pleasure my father derived from such a simple task. There's always something serene about waterfalls and the oceans and even a spray of water from a hose. He said such an activity de-stressed him.

Then I had to re-sew a loose button and thought of all the mending my mother did for us over the years and how happy she was to do it.

After that a section of floor where one of the dogs is paper trained had to be cleaned. For some reason it made me recall cleaning up after my closest female friend's cat that was sick one time while I was kitty sitting.

In the background has been soft radio music that reminds me of my best male friend with whom I whiled away many hours listening to music, playing chess and having wide-ranging conversations in front of his wood burning stove when we lived closer to each other.

Tonight I have also had happy memories of my grandparents and uncles and sister, wondered what my aunt Alice was doing in Indiana, realized it was too late to call and considered where to treat my brother to lunch Sunday since I missed his celebration last night due to my back cramps.

I believe being positive is fairly easy. So is being optimistic. But I believe, too, that we have to occasionally give in to our memories and let them guide us back from the feelings of sadness and loneliness that occasionally grab us.

Yes, sometimes simply being positive is not enough. Those times we need to embrace our memories and happy thoughts and realize they, too, are part of life's ebbs and flows.

But, maybe being grounded in a positive mental outlook on life is what helps make such feelings not last long and drives us to eventually feel better about ourselves and our situations.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SINGLEMOM1960
    And sometimes we just need to remember them no matter what feelings it brings up, and just give into them.
    3997 days ago
  • NBLNBL
    Lou, this shows you are open to your emotions and aren't trying to suppress them. We can't be happy and positive all of the time. It also shows you are human.

    It is amazing, isn't it, how the simplest things can trigger memories. Ah, the power of the mind and emotions.

    Nancy
    3999 days ago
  • WCATAP
    Very insightful blog.

    I know that although today may not go well, and feelings may be affected by outside pressures. We always have an eternal focus that can help our perspective. So we can experience a full range of emotions w/o having them dominate our thought life.

    A real benefit of SP is that we can express these feelings, get support and move along. Praise God. emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • SPARKLOVE
    emoticon Kiss
    4000 days ago
  • KENDRACARROLL
    Well said. I wanted to say, we probably all get melancholic like that sometimes, but I think calling it nostalgic (like somebody else in this blog did), is a more positive way to look at it. Main thing for me is not to dwell in it too long. Always helps me to get busy before I get too sad. Hope your back is better. Enjoy the time with your brother (mine is 6000 miles away...)
    4000 days ago
  • LIBBYFITZ
    Loved reading you're blog. You are such an inspiration. I am struggling a bit, I live in a new country and embrace all the excitement of discovery, but memories of family come drifting in and I have sad times but that is normal.
    I can certainly relate to different activities triggering memories.
    emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4114015
    One thing's for sure, whenever I read your blogs I feel better! Thanks!
    Gaye
    4000 days ago
  • GEODAWG
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • NOTSPEEDY
    I remember my dad sitting with mom in their lawn chairs with the hose in his hand watering the front lawn. It was so peaceful and calming. A slower, gentler time. You have brought back many other happy memories to mind.

    Thanks
    4000 days ago
  • GIBBLES5
    I think it shows we are human.... it is part of life.

    Great Blog Lou!!! emoticon
    4000 days ago
  • MOMMA_LITTLE
    Lou, I can't think of what to say... great blog is an understatement... I'm so glad I'm learning not to dwell on negative stuff. Memories of when the kids were little sometimes make me sad, but not always. I miss those days so much that sometimes, I think I need to find something to be busy with instead of getting too nostalgic. Thanks for your wise words... they're always so wise... you're a gift in itself to your friends. Lori
    4000 days ago
  • YATMAMA
    You are a wise man, Lou. Good job.
    4000 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2833646
    emoticon Smile, even if you don't feel like it, because it might help you feel like it!
    4000 days ago
  • PEPPERLEAH
    Lou, one thing that we have, that no one else can ever take away from us is our memories. It is amazing to me how one thing will occur that leads us to think of other things. The smell of a certain perfume will trigger memories of a beloved teacher we once had; a certain song playing will bring back memories of another occasion. Just as you mentioned the specific incidents today that caused you to think about family and loved ones. I consider those memories to be treasure. Those treasured memories are stored in a place where only we can find them. I am thankful for those memories, and for those occasions that bring them back to remembrance! And yes, sometimes those memories can be very healing!

    Thank you for another insightful, wonderful blog!

    God's richest blessings to you!

    Thank you for another wonderful blog!
    4000 days ago
  • DOOBIE893
    emoticon
    4000 days ago
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