Confession

Dear SparkPeople,

I have a confession to make. You may have read my article, "How I Found my Inner Spark." Since it was written, I lost an additional thirty pounds and completed the P90X program… which may I say, is no walk in the park! I've even managed to keep the weight off for the past two years. This is a list of accomplishments that anyone would be proud of. September rolled around and I quickly found myself neck-deep in the heaps of homework, exams, and labs that accompany a College semester packed full of science and math courses. It started small, as it always seems to. First, I started skipping breakfast in the mornings as I scrambled to gather my books on the way out the door. Soon after, coffee replaced water and I got caught up in the vicious caffeine cycle incited by late nights of studying. Visits to the gym became weekly, bi-weekly and finally non-existent. When my muscles began disappearing, so did the memories of all the hard work that went into forging them. My confidence waned and I could feel myself reverting to the girl I had hoped to forget. One recent morning, I was feeling particularly low following a late night, stress-induced binge involving lots of dark chocolate. Lacking the motivation to even roll out of bed, I picked up my cell phone to check my inbox. After logging in to my account, I squinted to make out the words, "Downloading Message 1 of 30," and wondered how I could have possibly gotten so many e-mails in one day. One by one, I clicked through the lengthy list and was confronted with various messages of thanks, encouragement and compliments. At first, I felt like the last person in the world deserving of such kind words of admiration. However, after giving it more thought, I realized that the things I have done really do help other people, however distant these achievements may seem in my own world. Knowing that my words gave someone the will the step foot in the gym on a day that they were particularly lacking motivation is the biggest accomplishment of all. Just as my past efforts can help pick someone up from a fall off the wagon, they in turn can jostle me out of a rut with their encouragement. Even though I've come a long way, I'm no Super Woman! Every day is full of choices and most of those choices are difficult. Thanks to you all, I'm back at the gym and ready to get back down to business. Let's be there for each other and keep the cycle going, SparkPeople!

Lauren