Monday, May 03, 2010
I hit the gym at 5:20 this morning. I woke up on time, but was a little slow moving so I was late. 45mins on the treadmill 3.5mph 7% incline. It was a good sweat. Of course I was thinking...you should have run. If you want to lose the weight you have to do better than just walking.
Sometimes my personality gets on my nerves! You know its bad when you get on your very own nerves right! Well, I am a perfectionist. I want things done my way, the right way, the written, way, God's way or what ever way I have set in my mind is the correct way of doing something.
For instance. I lost 130lbs my way. I didn't follow a diet written by a guru. I followed one that fit my life and my needs. I didn't exercise according to what others said I should. I ran at 250lbs for 5 friggin' miles. Why? Because I could! I did what worked for me. And it worked for me.
Now, after nearly 2.5 years of age, hormones and emotional turmoil, I am ready to do me again. But it has to be perfect! I have to lose weight ever single day, even if just .1lbs. Well, that is ridiculous! I don't loose weight every day. But in a week I can see a difference. However, when I don't lose weight every day, I turn on myself. I get pissy mad with me and put me down. You are so fat. What is wrong with you? Why can't you just stick to the plan. You get on my nerves. Just give up and stop wasting my time!
Now I would never let anyone talk to my friends like that....so why do I let me talk to me like that?
I don't know why. I do know that there was only one perfect person that ever walked the earth. His name was Jesus and he suffered, bled, died and rose again for people just like me. He whispers to me that Excellence is necessary but perfection is impossible. That's why he died for me in the first place!
So as I move forward with only 76lbs left to lose....I am striving for excellence. Perfection is something I will never reach and trying to only moves me further away from doing my best. So if you are like me....cut it out already and just keep it moving. You will get there. The science is simple. Calories in+ Calories out = gain/loss . You choose. As far as I am concerned (today anyway) 11% of my weight is gone. That is excellent!