I need to vent and have no where else to do so. Such a bad week...!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
So, monday and tuesday were the best days ive had since the beginning of my sparkpeople adventure. I got all my sleep, drank all my water did my strength training cardio and tracked everything. Tuesday my cars heater core went, this is after last weeks motor mount cracked, the week before thats battery failed and needed to be replaced, and the week before thats water replacement. We're being told that this fix is an 800 dollar fix because of the way everything is wired. On top of that they ASSURED us that my transmission is getting ready to fail, fuel lines are rotted out so we're probably leaking fuel, my wheel bearings are about to pop off and generally over all it's just not worth it. ESPECIALLY since we only paid 900 for the thing. I had a job interview about a half hour from work, got the job WHICH IS A GREAT THING!!!! but. I have no transportation now and this job is SO dependant on transportation that I can just forget about it. Im at a catch 22 I cant get a job without a car and cant get a newish (to me) car without a job. I spent yesterday in my appartment not wanting to do anything but cry and research a ton of cars theres no way i could afford. I came across the perfect only one that could fit our budget and the dealer JUST SOLD IT!!!!!!!!! today I'm stressed overwhelmed and dont give a damn about anything...including my weight and health. I hate this mindset because right now, the damage has been done now all I have left to do is feel the guilt and promise to myself ill do better next time. Ive done good, lost 10 pounds it just stinks that everytime im doing good a wrench gets thrown in the mix that screws everything up. We're so stressed on money we cant even afford groceries for weeks, let alone pay our rent. The job front is looking better I just gotta find a way to get there. I need to find my damn will power in times like this instead of letting the stress get to me. I dont remember the last time ive had ACTUAL fun. i am so tired of being tired and depressed. Hopefully we can finance tomorrow and get this dream vehicle that will solve these current problems. I realize this is life and s*** happens. just seems like im getting kicked over and over when im already down. hopefully this WILL make me stronger. I know i will get through THIS im just afraid of what else is going to be thrown my way. I realize we get judged on what we do with the struggles in life. For the most part I try to confront them with grace and dignity but i am falling on hard on this one. Thanks for listening.