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MAMA_MARTIN11

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I need to vent and have no where else to do so. Such a bad week...!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

So, monday and tuesday were the best days ive had since the beginning of my sparkpeople adventure. I got all my sleep, drank all my water did my strength training cardio and tracked everything. Tuesday my cars heater core went, this is after last weeks motor mount cracked, the week before thats battery failed and needed to be replaced, and the week before thats water replacement. We're being told that this fix is an 800 dollar fix because of the way everything is wired. On top of that they ASSURED us that my transmission is getting ready to fail, fuel lines are rotted out so we're probably leaking fuel, my wheel bearings are about to pop off and generally over all it's just not worth it. ESPECIALLY since we only paid 900 for the thing. I had a job interview about a half hour from work, got the job WHICH IS A GREAT THING!!!! but. I have no transportation now and this job is SO dependant on transportation that I can just forget about it. Im at a catch 22 I cant get a job without a car and cant get a newish (to me) car without a job. I spent yesterday in my appartment not wanting to do anything but cry and research a ton of cars theres no way i could afford. I came across the perfect only one that could fit our budget and the dealer JUST SOLD IT!!!!!!!!! today I'm stressed overwhelmed and dont give a damn about anything...including my weight and health. I hate this mindset because right now, the damage has been done now all I have left to do is feel the guilt and promise to myself ill do better next time. Ive done good, lost 10 pounds it just stinks that everytime im doing good a wrench gets thrown in the mix that screws everything up. We're so stressed on money we cant even afford groceries for weeks, let alone pay our rent. The job front is looking better I just gotta find a way to get there. I need to find my damn will power in times like this instead of letting the stress get to me. I dont remember the last time ive had ACTUAL fun. i am so tired of being tired and depressed. Hopefully we can finance tomorrow and get this dream vehicle that will solve these current problems. I realize this is life and s*** happens. just seems like im getting kicked over and over when im already down. hopefully this WILL make me stronger. I know i will get through THIS im just afraid of what else is going to be thrown my way. I realize we get judged on what we do with the struggles in life. For the most part I try to confront them with grace and dignity but i am falling on hard on this one. Thanks for listening.
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  • KISSFAN1
    I understand your frustration, because I know I would feel the same exact way. I get stressed out when one thing goes wrong, so more than that would probably drive me to insanity, LOL.

    I'm glad the vent helped and we are happy to listen anytime you need to. We all have our days when things seem overwhelming and we're frustrated because we can't seem to find a solution.

    I hope the car issue works out well for you. That stinks that the bus is not a solution. Maybe you could find out if someone at your new job lives near you and you can arrange to pay them to take you back and forth until you're able to get transportation? I'm sure you've already thought of that and it might not be possible since you're new there and don't know anyone.

    Hang in there and way to go on the exercise!
    3932 days ago
  • LISAYW
    Oh honey I sure understand what you're going through!! It seems like when it rains it pours doesnt it? I do think things happen for a reason, though sometimes we dont see the reason why for awhile. I wish you the best of luck and you hang in there, it will get better soon. Any time you need to vent, come tell us :)
    3932 days ago
  • MAMA_MARTIN11
    Ughhh i wish we had a bus!! we live probably 4 miles from ZOOM and it only goes north not south which is the killer haha! Things are semi getting better its just frusterating trying to find solutions and have all of them fail. Hopefully ill have more answers tomorrow..we're trying to finance a 2008 Kia Rio with no established credit haha can u say, total nightmare??!

    The vent sesh helped get it all out of my head which is what I needed, then I went for a 30 minute walk, started thinking again so I took a shower and now im going to bed and praying for a better day tomorrow. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!! it means so much that someone actually listened.

    "beginnings are scary, and endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. You gotta remember that and give hope a chance to float up." It's what get's me through. Have a splendid evening friend!
    3933 days ago
  • KISSFAN1
    emoticon emoticon I am so sorry that so many things are going wrong for you. I really don't know what to say, but I hope the vent helped a little bit. It's probably not helpful at all, but as a temporary thing is there anyway you could take a bus to work until you can afford new transportation?

    My friend's husband used to take the bus to work (and we both live in small towns) so hopefully that would work for you.

    Hang in there, things will eventually get better. I've had weeks when my dryer, ice maker, house water lines/pipes (was told we had to pay thousands to get it fixed so we didn't have water until it was fixed) and microwave broke all in one week, actually within days of each other. It was so stressful, so I can imagine the stress you're going through.
    3933 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/20/2010 7:38:29 PM
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