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Friday, May 21, 2010

I equate almost every life lesson I learn with a weight loss lesson! It's a quirky habit I enjoy emoticon

I have a son who is struggling horribly in his language arts class. It is his hardest subject, and his teacher has decided he is an easy target to pick on. She is relentless in pointing his failures out in class, grading him as harshly as she can, and generally tearing down his spirit. SHE could be the topic of a whole bunch of blogs! But, she is not my focus here...HE is. He is such an intelligent kid-and a sweet, quiet boy. He just has a hard time with this academic area, and the social struggles he faces in her class have added up to a complete nightmare for him. Her behavior has lead him to believe he is not smart, he is not capable.

I sat down with my teary eyed son last night to talk about this class. I needed for him to understand that all we want from him is effort and growth- try your hardest and learn something. We don't expect him to ace this class, and we know he won't. But he has to believe that he has something valuable to offer and that it does make a difference that he try, even if he feels it is a wasted effort. He needs to fake it til he believes it! He can't change his teacher- he can't make her nicer, or fairer or different. She is his constant, his "given" in this situation. He must learn to do what he needs to do and to get around her.

He needs to believe he can achieve his goals, even with the obstacles he sees in front of him....

By now I am sure you have seen where my thoughts came in! There are things in life I can't change. I will never feel I have enough hours in the day to do everything I want, and most days, I am praying for bedtime to come so I can just relax! Things will change- my obstacles will be different in 6 months, or in 3 weeks...but I will always have obstacles. And, back to my son- I know much of what he feels about this teacher is true (again- another day to get into her!) but some things are not as bad as he feels they are. Yet, in his mind, he is set that there is nothing he can do to change things.

I ached and filled with all sorts of emotions as I repeatedly told him- YES you can make it different....ONLY you can make it different....the situation is what it is- you need to change HOW YOU deal with it...you canNOT lose heart and lose the belief that you have great ability.

After he left to write his paper, his tears had stopped and I think he felt just a tiny bit empowered...he is 14, so there were no miracles- but at least he knew that all we wanted from him was best effort- the grade was not a concern to us anymore.

I need to listen to myself here and give myself the same pep talk. I am the ONLY ONE who can make a difference in my situation...and there is no effort that is not important. I shouldn't worry about my end result the way I do- I just need to start each day vowing to give a great effort and believe in myself.

Today I will focus on believing that I can get past my obstacles to give my best effort.
I will again follow my eating plan for the day.
I will drink my water.
I will exercise for 30 minutes.
I will do my 210 reps throughout the day.

AND- I will believe that I am loved and worthwhile even if I fail....just like I want my son to do. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Excellent blog! YOU ARE LOVED! emoticon
    3934 days ago
    Great blog Ang!!!!!
    3936 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4670590
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3936 days ago
  • LLTS01
    You know what is helping me these days. I take every hour and every meal at a time. I look at every event as a series of choices I have to make. When I go into the kitchen to prepare a meal, I make a choice. When I but the oil from 1 tablespoon to 1 teaspoon, I make that choice in order to be able to have a snack later. It's all give and take. But in the end it is my choice. And you are so right. You cannot control the situation but you can control how you react. And that is all about choice.

    3936 days ago
    My son also had many problems in high school, he dreaded every day but always treated the teacher with respect even if she treated him badly. Then after a few months he had had enough he had migraines missed school consistently and started cutting class and finally he quit school. He went back the next year but lost the year before. Please talk to the teacher soon, explain how her behavior is destroying his self esteem and please don't ever think she will stop without your intervention. I know it happened to my son.
    3936 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Setting the example for your children with love-compassion & support is the best way to make a difference in their life!
    You are an "AWESOME" mommy!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3936 days ago
    I will pray for you son, you sure did give him and us a good lesson. I am find where I work at a public school how teachers if they do not like you can take it out on you. This is happening to me even after 12.5 years of being in one place.
    God bless and direct you!
    3936 days ago
  • JENNY888
    As a teacher I cringe to think about a teacher doing what you are describing here. Please try to find time to talk to her. Try not to accuse her but instead enlist her in support of your son. Let her know how what she does affects your son. Let her know he is really trying.

    Make her an ally not an enemy. This could be very important to her, yourself, and your son.
    3937 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon It's a lesson I need to learn as well.
    3937 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6368620
    Ang, you are such an awesome mom! You sent a message to your son that he has the power to make the situation better or worse, even if the teacher remains nasty. What a great life lesson (but don't ya just want to go punch her in the face??).

    I too apply every inspirational quote and life lesson to my weight loss struggles! And I find that everything I learn really does fit with what I'm trying to do to lose weight. You're not alone with that!

    You and your son can find strength in each other with your individual situations...you're teaching him to reach inside and find his inner strength, and as he does, I'm sure he'll inspire you to do the same.

    Love ya, girl!

    3937 days ago
    You are the best! That was a great lesson for you son ... amd me too! emoticon
    3937 days ago
    Bravo!! What a wonderful lesson for us all!!
    3937 days ago
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