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Stir Up Threads of Inner Controversy

Monday, May 24, 2010

Subscribing to several SP emails, I've come across one that really hit me just where I'm at regarding the theme "action = change". Lately, it's come to my attention that I'm struggling with changing some behaviors that are negatively affecting my personal growth. Intellectually, I know what I'm doing is detrimental to my health & well-being, so it must be my heart that's become hurt, calloused or hardened. The reasons are many & complicated, but at 46 yrs old, I'd like to think my development has led to mind over matter in all the really important complexities. However, it occurs to me perhaps I may have the heart & mind issues reversed. The quote & most of a short commentary follow & are annotated as best as possible.
"When you stand still, you reject the struggle & you refuse to change & grow. Ultimately, you reject fulfillment, happiness, the dance for joy & everything else that is eternally good." ---Matthew Kelly, classical actor & game show host
"TAKING THE PATH TO PERSONAL GROWTH...Action is the only way anything ever gets done. Sitting around & waiting for life to happen to you will only guarantee one thing: that you're not going to end up with a life you love. By waiting, you can react to what's tossed your way & nothing more. It's easy to take a passive approach to life without taking chances. It's easy to fall into a rut & do the same things the same way all the time. Change is sometimes hard, but it's change that will reveal all the wonders that life has to offer... Grow as a person & your world grows with you."
Sources: The first quote is attributed to Matthew Kelly, however it is unclear as to the author of the remaining text. Since I could not find a way to supply a direct link as normally required, refer to 'SparklePeople Healthy Reflections 05.20.2010'.
This reflection is obviously a "get off your behind & just do something, anything in another way". This is in essence the SP message of make small changes for a lasting result...but make the small changes consistently. I find making small changes isn't a problem; however, my consistency track record is lacking, but not that I'm unable to reap a harvest of SP common sense. In fact, it's aided me tremendously in many areas in my 5 month association. The people I've communicated with have been friendly, inspiring & so incredibly comforting & reassuring if I'm having difficulty of any type. The food diary helped my nutrition counselor & I to evaluate my eating patterns & get my unusual post-prandial hypoglycemia under control (which is how I happen to come to SP in the first place). I've received great benefits from belonging to teams, especially my hometown's fitness & weigh-in challenge. And while on SP, I hit my goal weight, finally! Even though I came to SP with less than 10 lbs to lose on my way to a total loss of 194 lbs, sharing the victory was so much more exciting with my online community. And the biggest surprise to me was when I saw the SparkPeople Motivator logo pop up one day on my SparkPage!
So with all that said, you'd think a SP motivator, who was able to lose nearly 200 lbs, would be much more 'together'. And with my lack of uniqueness as a human giving way, as we all do, to flaws & character defects, it just all strikes me as so contradictory that I continue to do those same things that slow or halt my progress & have grand success concurrently. It's a puzzlement! And at the moment, I continue to sabotage & achieve as an on-going status quo. It would be baffling except I've given it some thought & realized I've observed this in myself before, not just in matters of food. It's a common thread running throughout the yrs of my life.
The quote above mentions the passive & complacent component to just sitting & waiting to see what life throws at you. The offered solution is to take chances with different behaviors to by-pass the void of a life you can't love. I feel like my self-defeating behaviors are robbing me of zeal for life that I outwardly appear to possess. But I do passionately feel glorious moments in life! So, which is it? And why do I fight myself for happiness I claim to desire & believe that I truly do want with all my heart? The risk that I may be over-analyzing a reflection in an email exists. But I do believe that I stirred up this thread of inner controversy that I would've rather not thought about in the first place. Perhaps, I shall read emails about exercise & recipes for a while.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hear ya........I am just taking it an hour sometimes at a time.......not having junk in my house helps a lot! If it's here, I tend to pick at it till it's gone, and there is none!!!! So that is good!!!!!!!
    3727 days ago
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