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Settling

Monday, May 24, 2010

The definition of "settling" is compromising ALL of what you want when you get part of it. My weight loss has been working. I am officially wearing clothes regularly that were either tight or did not fit at all two months ago.

This past week has been hellacious on my will power. The only thing I can attribute it to is the amount of downtime I have had and how tired I have been. I am discovering I eat when I am tired and stressed. A few weeks ago I was busy every night after work and on the weekends. I felt myself getting worn out, stressed, and spending money. So, I planned a "stay at home" night and got a "healthier" version of what I like from Chipotle. It was restful. It has since snowballed.

Over this past weekend, I ate cheesesticks dipped in ranch, a cheeseburger, a frozen pizza, a pint of ice cream, a fudge square, ribs, chicken wings, mashed potatoes, baked beans, macaroni and cheese,2 chili cheese dogs, french fries, and red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. Just typing this out makes me wanna puke. It doesn't even sound appetizing anymore.

I made it for 5 weeks, had setbacks, readjusted, and kept trucking forward. I don't know what happened that made me give up and indulge in all of this, but I don't like it. I felt so great with all my forward progress. I was comfortable in my body again. My confidence was returning.

I want the NEED to keep going. Hoping I am just tired and that's where my willpower went. I am also going to start building more back into my schedule in hopes that HAVING to fit it in will help me fit it in.

My goal tomorrow is 1200 calories and a workout. I ate 2600 today :(
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