Accepting ones self.
Monday, June 07, 2010
Each day is a learning experience. To face ones own weight problem..never really considered my self fat or obese just a little heavy. Never thought of my self pretty or that one day I would be married. I did find the cause of it..brothers teasing me, saying I was fat..ugly..no one would want to go out with you. So what did I do..eat. With my cancer did some soul searching and journeys of the mind found pictures of me when I was in 9th grade.. and really I wasn't ugly or fat. I was taller then my girlfriends and did remember "developing" before them. I did take to heart what people said even though I acted like I didn't. this site has help me a lot. Like today for example this week I did not loose any weight, it is frustrating and I really wanted to drink or eat something sweet... ahh milk shake it is hot today. I went in and ordered a large unsweetened ice tea instead. 1 year ago I would have order the milk shake drank it then feel upset that I did that.
Today I put on the site my true starting weight..why? I am comfortable in my own skin now. 2004 I weight 270 pounds and I said to myself..no way. Did South Beach Diet lost 20 pounds and then found out I had cancer of the appendix. I was 254 in 2005 with the operations 2 of them I lost 30 pounds in 6 months.. Looked like death warmed over to my self. No appetite for a long while.It came back..oh boy did it. Back up to 250...feel better but that is to much. Along with the cancer they found out I had a silent heart attack and a bundle branch block..eventually I will need a pacemaker put in and maybe a new heart valve.
So my mind is set to loose some weight but still look healthily not skin n bone..lol
That is why I say each day is a gift from God.