That's how I felt!!
My session was for 30 minutes. She started me out with three minutes stepping. On a small riser. Ugh. Who the hell knew stepping could be sooo brutal?!
Cardio needs some work.
Then some arm work with a bar, sit-ups, crunches, timed plank, and then squats. A few variations of squats. And I'm going along, la la la...
And then... nausea.
I felt like a contestant on the Biggest Loser on day one at the ranch. I couldn't believe it.
I went to my locker, grabbed my water and went right back to my trainer. Yea, I felt like crap, but I paid for this and I have got to get going. She told me, "Don't worry, its normal to feel like that. You're not the first."
I still couldn't believe it. I was so embarassed. And ashamed. How in the heck did I let this happen? How could I have let myself get to this point??
I finished my session. I didn't quit any of the reps and sucked it up. It was hard and I was hurting, but I freakin finished.
I wobbled back to my locker, my legs like jelly, sat down and chugged some more water. My original intention was to join in on a class and really go at it full steam ahead, but I just felt like I had had enough. Normally, I would have just done it and then suffered tomorrow in pain, which would ultimately make me want to quit. So I grabbed my stuff and decided tomorrow, cardio and some weights. I'm not going to fall into my old habits.
My things in hand I head to the door of the gym, which happens to be on the second floor. I grabbed hold of the railing and took my first step, first wobbly, jelly step. And then I took the next. It was then I thought, "Screw this... there's an elevator."
I started to turn around and head to the elevator and this voice inside me said, "Don't you freakin dare. You worked hard today, don't take the easy wait out. Its going to take a lil longer to get down those stairs, but freakin do it."
And I did. I went down, step by step, slowwwwwwly. Sure I felt kinda dumb with other ladies whizzing past me, but this is my journey. This is my first real day working out at a gym in a looooong time.
I was so proud of me. I still am. And I'm going to make sure I stay proud of me and my journey.