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To Blog Or Not To Blog...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

That is what has been on my mind this last week. I wanted to take some time away from blogging to see how I felt about it. The first couple of days I felt tremendous anxiety not blogging. I'm sure that stemmed from the commitment I made to myself and needing that structure to feel safe because if I just do this and this and this...you get the idea, then I had my routine and as long as I stuck to my routine, then everything would be just fine. What I learned this past week is that I don't need to blog in order to stay true to my healthy lifestyle...it's just an added bonus.

I also took a lot more time away from Spark to see how that felt. I have to say that at first I felt anxiety and guilt. More than anything I just missed the daily interaction with everyone. I do have a lot going on in my life away from the computer and I found that I was on Spark a lot! Too much...almost to the point of an addiction. I didn't think that was healthy either. So, now I'm trying to find a nice balance. I've never been much of a balancer. I'm not good at giving some of my attention here and some of my attention there. Something always suffers and I didn't want it to be me or my family. In some respects I feel this journey has made me a little selfish. Interestingly enough, people even encourage the me, me, me syndrome. I find that fascinating. I've been taught my whole life to give, give, give. Now I'm trying to find the balance between doing for myself and doing for others. I just wanna say that growing up is hard! I'm trying to figure out who I am. What do I like? How do I want to spend my time? Who do I want to spend my time with? How do I really love and accept me, faults and all? I've been so busy with being busy, that I don't know what it is that I really want. Being busy makes it easy to avoid the hard questions.

Today, I wanted to share my gratitude for my sparkbuddies. I feel truly blessed that I have you all in my life. You all bring something different in my life that I cherish. I haven't been the best buddy lately and I apologize for that. I'm not being hard on myself, I'm being realistic. I don't want permission to be a bad friend and if you tell me it's okay...well, it's not. I know we all have lives that get busy and we are all doing the best that we can. Spark is not supposed to be a stressful thing for any of us and somewhere along the way my spark got a little less sparkly.

Thanks for letting me get this off my mind. I really do have the best buddies on all of Spark! I hope you all have been having a fantastic week and I do hope you have the best day ever tomorrow! Catch ya later!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm with you on finding balance. It is true that one can trade one addiction for another. It is so easy to do. Glad your my SP friend and always will be even if you are not on here much.
    emoticon emoticon
    3664 days ago
    You have to do what is right for you! I was spending way too much time on here. I had to cut back. The nice thing is that when you do get a chance to check back in, everyone is here!!
    3669 days ago
    Great realization! I think Sparkfriends realize that working on yourself is first and why we are all here in the first place. If not, are they really friends?
    It does sound like you have some things to figure out, possibly some guilt towards others.
    It's a great blog and you have my support!!! emoticon emoticon
    3675 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7414610
    emoticon I know you will find the right balance for you and your spark will get sparkly again! emoticon
    3675 days ago
  • GRACE612
    balance is very important...I don't blog, because, well, I just don't think I'm good at it. Especially now, my life is kinda boring. My hubby is trying to get houses he bought renovated to get them rented out, so he works alot. so when he's working at night I'm in front of the computer. Sometimes I think I need to find another hobby...LOL
    3675 days ago
    I understand the balancing act very well. I too had been spending too much time on Spark, but it has also helped me in so many ways feel better about all of life.

    Good Luck to you!
    3675 days ago
    Sitting here reading your post makes me realise that maybe I am spending too much time on SP, I do have other things to do that I have been putting off doing.

    You're right about finding that balance, it can be hard at times. emoticon
    3675 days ago
  • CAROLX914
    Yes Im coming to that realization myself as well. I did not do as great as I would have like to earlier this week on a test for school and I realized Im on Spark too much. I do feel at times it keeps me accountable but I also know that ultimately its me that keeps me accountable. I do love to come on here and see all of my sparkfriends and yes I did realize you were gone for a few days. I missed you but I know that we all have lives we must keep living, isnt that why we are on this lifestyle change journey? Much love to you and your family and kudos to you for living and having fun while at it.

    3675 days ago
    Good for you! I think it's important to balance things. So often when beginning a journey to healthier living we start off becoming very self-centered after having ignored ourselves for so long. Eventually though we find that there needs to be a balance. There are still others and other things that need to be cared for (i.e. family; housework; job; physical community responsibilities and commitments) and we need to find ways to balance our meal planning, exercise, sparking with these other things.

    How do you feel now after these few days? Are you finding the time away from Spark and the days of not blogging having a negative effect on your food choices and the time you spend exercising? If not, then be assured you are making the right choice!

    As for your buddies, most of us are likely in the same boat! I'll only worry if I don't hear from you at all in a week!

    emoticon emoticon
    3675 days ago
  • FITKAT2010
    All that you give to "others" is actually a giving out of what you have inside. As you give forth you receive automatically.

    Taking care of yourself is your #1 priority. It isn't selfish to want to be the best example of health possible. It is selfish to seek outside yourself for your happiness.

    As you know I am balancinig my own life. I cut my Sparking down to 2 hrs per day from 6. Only essential one-on-one's. Part of my program for happiness is reaching out and giving forth. We do need to interact, however we must not be dependent or attached.

    Honestly I think something else is brewing within coming to the surface. Something that you can't define. Something deep. How wonderful is that?

    3675 days ago
    I completely understand the balance thing. It is so hard to find it! Balance is elusive and addiction is always at hand hahahaha!!
    I think focusing on YOU is what you need to do so you can learn what you need to so you can live your best life!
    I really enjoyed this blog, you are always insightful
    Big emoticon
    3675 days ago
  • no profile photo DEVORA4
    boy I know what you are saying. I have maybe 10 spark friends that have really helped me and that I hope have likewise helped. However, in the long run It's up to each of us. emoticon debby
    3675 days ago
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