Thursday, July 08, 2010
Ok so this is my first blog....ugh, but if it will help me in some way i guess I'll give it a try. I have been a member for a few weeks now and I've lost some weight since being home from school, i still live with my mom and siblings and i need to get my drivers license back (for reasons not to be mentioned). i have lived in the same neighborhood for over 15 years and dislike most of my neighbors due to constant emotional abuse since i was little....the point i am getting at is because of all these reasons i feel limited to what i can do for myself as far as diet and exercise. In still living at home i have little to no control of groceries, though my mom is also a spark member we have very different tastes and goals as far as food and diet i have no control and no money to get my own groceries, though i do very well with portion control cause thankfully i get full from a lot less than i used to and so I've narrowed down the diameter of my plate. Now i know i could be speeding up the weight loss process by exercising regularly as well as forming a healthier lifestyle but as i have said i feel limited by not only not having my license but as well as being very self conscious about exercising in and around my neighborhood, i have known several of the the people my age pretty much since elementary school and from then till high school they have increasingly lowered my self esteem steadily. since high school i have learned to not care as much what others think but i still get those evil memories back when i try to run in my neighborhood, and i absolutely looove to run, i can just never build up the courage to do it, I've tried doing laps in my pool and doing workout dvd's..but i just don't feel the same as i do when i put my headphones on and run outside, if i had the money id join a gym, and if i had my license id go to a diff. neighborhood, i know there must be something i can do, but i can't think of anything that doesn't involve inconveniencing others.......blah blah blah.......just going over all this myself makes me hate myself for seeming so helpless and whiny.