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Weight Loss/Gain and Family Harmony

Monday, July 26, 2010

Here is a new problem, at least for me, but maybe some of you have seen this before and will have some advice. I have been counting calories and doing an hour of exercise most days of the week since December 1st and have lost 30 some pounds. During this period, my husband who weighed maybe 130 and is 5 foot 9 has also lost some weight. Now, if you look at his weight, and height, you might realize that he can't afford to loose much weight. He is very close to 120 now. He is right near an 18 bmi and this has begun to worry him. He went to the doctor the other day and they ran blood tests and a chest xray and see nothing wrong. They have referred him to a dietitian who will call him soon to make an appointment. Now for the problem.

How does one member of the family try and gain weight, while the other family member tries to loose weight without any short order cooks around? IE we cook low sodium and low fat, as both of our stomachs can not take the fat. I am eating a salad at least a few times a week before dinner, not every night. I have suggested he start putting the bacon bits, cheese, etc. on his salad and we could make his smaller, so I don't feel singled out by eating a salad, but he doesn't eat much of one so it doesn't cut his appetite too much. I also suggested nuts as a snack. High cal, but healthy. Any other ideas that can help him be healthy, and gain weight a little that will keep family harmony? We all have issues loosing weight and food and our weight does become somewhat of a hot topic, and I don't want to feel bad when he eats a bag of combos or something and I can not. Ideas?

Oh, and when is being underweight, but not seeing anything in the blood work a problem? IE if he tested fine, how much does he need to work on turning this around? How light is too light? And, no he does not have any eating disorders. The men of his family have always been very light and dense. They don't float well, because they just don't have enough fat. His body fat percentage is 10%, I think. He is a computer geek who used to skip meals in college, as he just got too preoccupied. Now he eats three meals, but if he eats a big lunch, he doesn't eat much dinner and he rarely snacks, but if he does, he is not hungry at dinner.

My irritation was that I decreased what I ate, but then so did he for no real reason. So I still feel like I eat a fair amount, even though I know I don't now. Ideas?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You've made some good suggestions to him about adding higher calories to the same meals that you eat. His thyroid checked out too huh? He could always add a carnation instant breakfast drink or a higher calorie ensure to a meal.

    Mezzaluna had a good suggestion about attending the dietitian appt together. That would offer out some good ideas to the both of you. Bottom line is that you are both very different people with very different nutritional needs. Sounds like it will take some work, but you are on the right track.

    3496 days ago
    Wow. That's a dilemma, all right! Congratulations on your loss and dedication to fitness.

    I would suspect your husband may be eating less to be supportive of your efforts, and trying not to derail your progress. Try and go with him to the appointment with the dietitian. Perhaps the dietitian can act as a mediator between the two of you- validating what you're doing, and encouraging him to do what HE needs to do to get and stay healthy.

    Good luck!
    3498 days ago
  • TRACY180
    Did you also post sometime on the main forum so that the staff on this website can also see this and respond?
    3501 days ago
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