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Need to practice saying, "NO!"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Just a quick thought I had while I was sitting here. I thought of it as I was hitting post of the blog I just wrote. Do any of you have trouble saying "No" to people? I was complaining about not doing for myself in my blog and it hit me, If I just said "No" more often, I would be able to do more. I have terrible guilt for saying "no" though. How do you get past the guilty feeling when you tell someone "no"? I always feel like I have to keep everyone else happy and find myself telling everybody "yes" even when inside I'm screaming, "NO!!! I don't want to do this!". Then guilt takes over and I do it anyway. Anybody else have that problem?
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  • ASTORRES1
    Yes...I do have that problem...putting myself first...rather than my family....hard to do. Guilt is a bad feeling..... We can do this...


    amy
    3709 days ago
  • ILLINITEACHER52
    Think of it as saying "YES" to yourself more often. If you decline other people's wants you will have more time to do what you need and want to do. (One suggestion I have tried is to write down when I am doing something for someone else and I have a quota for the week or the month. Then I don't feel too badly when I actually get to do something for myself -not that I wouldn't do something for someone else if they had a dire need but just for things that they could do for themselves I no longer feel guilty. I even have one friend who learned to sew for herself when I started saying no. Sometimes, helping too much is keeping someone from learning to do for themselves.)
    3710 days ago
  • SANDYJAKE
    That is a great answer MIESHKA gave. We have been programmed to not hurt peoples feelings and that helping others is always way more important than what ails us. Just look at all the people in the news lately getting fired over something they said that offended someone else. Crazy. It always has amazed me that when a guy asks a woman out and she says no he then asks "Why not?" It took me a while to be the person who could say no but I do have to say I am MUCH happier with the knowledge that I only do what I WANT for WHO I want WHEN I want.If they are true friends and your family truely love you they will understand and not be offended. If not, well....then the hard part is going to be looking closely at the relationship and deciding if you really need someone that toxic in your life. The answer Mieshka gave is a perfect way to say no with out being too brash. Me, on the other hand just tell them "no, sorry" lol
    3710 days ago
  • SHARONGD
    I have finally learned how to say no....just say I'm sorry I have plans at that time....most people won't ask what plans....easy out....guilt free....or I have an appointment...so what if its with myself! LOL I figure if the person asking has the right to feel like they can ask...you have the right to not be put out and to say no! Took many many years to get here but it is wonderful!
    3710 days ago
  • MIESHKA
    Just like this "Im sorry I would LOVE to help you out but I just cant, Ive got way too much on my plate and dont have any room for more" Dont ever feel bad about making time for yourself and dont ever hinder your progress for anyone else. Always help yourself first your worth it!!!!!! emoticon
    3710 days ago
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