right here, right now
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
I'm taking stock of where I'm at, right here, right now.
I won't say I'm starting over. This is a life-long journey. I have no end goal. This will never end. Like I said, this is a life-long journey.
So right now this is what I'm doing, how I'm feeling and what changes I'd like to make.
Exercise: none at all. I want that to change.
Food choices: I'm not thinking much about what I'm eating, or how much I'm eating. I'm just eating. On a more positive note, I seem to be doing much less mindless eating. I don't seem to eat to fill a void. I'm not sure what clicked to make that change. I just realized here recently that it was different. That's a huge positive. Now I'd like to take stock of what I'm eating when I do eat. I want to be more accountable about what goes into my mouth.
Overall mood: I am feeling very low, defeated, and completely out of energy all the time. I'm sure better quality food and even a little exercise will go a long way toward improving this!
Physical well-being: For my weight, I am not doing so poorly. I could be a lot worse off. But there are so many things that could be better. I don't sleep comfortably at all. My legs and feet are achy by day. And again, I'll mention the overall tired feeling. Exercise ... slowly built up as I adjust to the frequency and intensity ... is what my body's trying to tell me it craves in these cues that seem to be just the opposite! Get up and do something!! The muscles are just wasting away ......
So here's everything spelled out, plain as day. What I see when I look in the mirror or at photos from a family gathering is not what I want to see! That is not me. That is a tired, worn out, uncared for version of me. Where am I hiding? Somewhere in there ... I'm determined to find me!