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Goal Setting = Soul Bearing. I'd rather be naked.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

So I started working on goal setting & vision poster today. I started out thinking, this will be a cinch. You see, I am a real go(al) getter. If my boss gives me a goal, I will NOT let her down. I am really big on the whole "integrity" thing. I don't make promises I can't or won't keep. Just not an option for me. If you issue a challenge, I'll rise to the occasion. I will meet and even exceed your expectations. I want you to be proud of me.

So, this personal goal setting thing should be pretty easy right? Not so much.

Apparently I don't like setting them for myself. It has taken me an entire day to get 6 goals down on paper and they aren't even really on paper because I am working them on the computer. When I got to the point of printing and pasting on posterboard I got physically sick. My stomach knotted up and I almost started to cry.

What the HECK?
I am a Goal Getter - why am I freaking out about this?

"Ok", I say to myself, "I wont cut them out and put them on a poster board. I'll put them on a cork board instead. That way I can rearrange them and add to them as needed. Better?"


I went down and asked my husband if we had a cork board. He rustled one up for me which, of course, didn't fit where I wanted it to go. Not only was I fussy about that, but all of a sudden I had turned into Queen Attack Witch. The poor man couldn't get out of my way fast enough.


After a few minutes of fuming and fussing I figured out the problem.
I would rather be naked in the front yard than post my goals where he can see them.

Apparently I am afraid to fail. I am afraid that I will make a promise to myself and not be able to keep it. I am afraid that I will humiliate myself and he will see the ENTIRE thing. Posting those goals is baring my SOUL to him and, apparently, that is more than I can handle.

Important side note - my husband is an amazing man. I mean awesome. He is a 3rd grade teacher (career changer in his 30s). He has coached little kid sports and led scouts. He does laundry and cooks and cleans. He is gentle and kind and has never, NEVER, made fun of me. EVER.

So with that in mind, why am I so hung up on this? Why can I not post my promises to myself in a place where he can see them so that he can encourage me, which he will, and support me, which he will, and even possibly participate?

I think, no, I KNOW I need to get over this. I have not worked out in 3 days because of these stupid goals. I want to set my direction so that I am moving with purpose. I think I am going to post them and just deal with what happens next. Post them right there - on the wall next to my desk.

Yep, my kids might even be able to see them.

Everyone cover your eyes...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That's the way - face the issue. You can do this.
    You should be really proud of yourself that you didn't just bury this issue. You didn't have to come and tell us about it, you didn't have to put those goals up - you could have folded under the pressure or never faced it in the first place.

    I hope you are seriously celebrating yourself right now.
    You are powerful, you are an over comer, you are awesome, and you are succeeding!


    3372 days ago
    Hey...and I see by your status that YOU DID IT! Congratulations! I am thinking that you built this up in your mind to be a problem...when it wasn't. Am I correct? I hope my blog helped you with this. Sounds like what I was dealing with...with going to church and getting my web work going. I'm so proud of you. I think all of your fears are now going to fall as unfounded and you are going to begin to work toward your goals and conquer them like the conquerer and achiever that you are. So nice, that you are now set to achieve things for yourself...just like you do for your employer. Awesome! Keep sparking! emoticon emoticon
    3372 days ago
    I felt like this could have come from myself. I'm very much the same way. Congrats to you for facing your fear and putting up that board. :) Be proud!!!
    3373 days ago
    Powerful blog! I wish you the best. You sound like you will succeed!

    I know how you feel, though... I won't even put my photo here!

    Good luck!
    3373 days ago
    OH...I am blushing as I read this. I am exactly the same way.
    3373 days ago
    I am SO proud of you! I'm funny about 'Yote being able to see me work out (part of the whole stack of work out DVDs still in the plastic wrapper problem), which is JUST as silly 'cause he never makes fun of me and is universally proud of me whenever I do something for myself...it's internal baggage from somewhere that I need to wrestle and overcome. I'm betting yours is too - go you for facing the fear and doing what you need to do for you.
    3373 days ago
  • BYKRYD62
    Good job! i should put mine up too! i will let you know if i do...

    Fran emoticon
    3373 days ago
    U can do it!!!! I know u can , now breathe.....it's an awesome vision board!
    3373 days ago
    All right - it is DONE! God keep my soul safe from hurt, please. Thank you.

    Love you all - thanks for the support!

    3373 days ago
    Put it up! think how much better you will feel. emoticon
    3374 days ago
  • BYKRYD62
    You describe me to a "T", AND yet I always let myself down, or rather I never really put or even set myself up to fail. Rejection goes deep with me (childhood) and I can’t handle it. I do, but I really run from it before it’s apparent to others. This journey to change I guess needs to go deeper then I thought.. I did make a step and went back to school after I got laid off ( I know how can they run the company without me, Right? Lol) time will tell. Oh and my BF is wonderful too, its about time……

    no one but sparks knows my goals...lol

    Fran emoticon
    3374 days ago
    I feel exactly the same way.
    I will dig out my cork board tomorrow if you put up yours.
    3374 days ago
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