Not forgetting about this blog... I had just been avoiding it. I was avoiding it because its easier to do that than face it.
I gained back everything I lost.
Emotional eating + stress.... its not an excuse, but its the truth.
The truth is also that I *have* to overcome it.
I'm pushing 30. For some that's young. For some that's old. For me, its a milestone I need to pay attention to. I have over a hundred pounds to lose and an immense amount of stress in my life. I'm at risk for a lot of health problems that I am fortunate to have not encountered yet. I am healthy right now, and I want to keep it that way and stay strong. I *have* to stay strong.
My oldest daughter, age 9, is severely mentally disabled. She will never be able to live alone or care for herself appropriately. I love her more than words can say, but I'm scared to death about what would happen to her if I wasn't around. I can't say its easy every day, and is a big part of the stress that leads me to eat, but I have to overcome that compulsion so that I can make sure to be here for her for the long haul.
The very real reality is that if I don't take care of myself with my weight, in addition to my stress levels, I could shorten my life span, and take time away from being able to be there for my daughter.
While some might say that this time away from SparkPeople, and that the lbs I gained back is a bad thing, I'm choosing to look at it as a growing experience (no pun intended). It has been a time for me to look at and learn what some of my triggers are. It has also been a chance to turn my stresses into my reasons.
Every time my beautiful girl has a bad day and we both end up stressed and crying, I will remember that me being there for her another day is more important than the small comfort food would bring me. Instead, I can exercise and gain a sense of control over my situation by doing something constructive instead of destructive.
I love my daughter, and want to be as healthy as I can for both of us. I can't think of a better reason to stay committed than that. :)