I Had a Real Bad Self-Esteem Day on Thursday
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Hi I'm finally over my bad day on Thursday. I had one of my "I don't care days" and I didn't do the things I promised that I would do for myself. I didn't exercise, and I could have, I didn't blog, I didn't write down what I ate that day and I had an all around stubborn day of not caring if I did any of the things I was suppose to do. Why you ask, because I weighted myself in the middle of the week instead of waiting until Friday and what I saw on the scale didn't make me happy at all I had gained back 1 pound of what I had lost the week before. I started tearing myself down and beating myself up. Thinking that I was a bad person. Not focusing on what I did do good for myself that day. I didn't bing eat, and I could have with the mood I was in. I was drinking my eight glasses of water that I pledge to do and I posted in one of my groups, I also signed in and got my Spark points.
I'm sorry to say I'm and A personality and I think I have to be perfect in everything that I do and if I'm not then my self esteem goes down hill. I feel like I'm a bad person. I'm sure all of this stems from the way I was brought up. If I didn't do things right I would get put down by one or the other of my parents. They wanted me to be the perfect little lady at all times. I wasn't suppose to cry or get angry at any time. These kinds of scars can lead to self destruction when trying to lose weight. This is the time I need to say to myself "I need help", but I don't because I've always was taught to take care of myself and not to lean on others through tough times. Maybe, just maybe if I had told someone on Spark People that I need some help I could have made it a better day for myself. We all need someone to give us a helping hand at one time or the other and my silly pride should not keep me in the way of seeking help.
Friday was a good day, I felt better about myself and stopped feeling so blue. I did my exercises, drank my water, exercised my cat, made my group entry, I didn't blog though. I did sign in and get my spark points. So I had a much better day and was feeling a lot better about myself and moving on ward.
Please don't be to hard on yourself going though this process like I was on myself. It only takes you backwards not forwards. And for goodness sake ask for help when your sinking like that, don't keep it to yourself, like I did. Very self destructive.
And I really need a buddy very badly if anyone would like to be that buddy to me I sure would appreciate having one. I know it's better to share your ups and downs with another person. I've had it on my Spark page for a long time but no one ever answered my request.
Have a fun weekend my dear Spark friends.