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I Had a Real Bad Self-Esteem Day on Thursday

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Hi I'm finally over my bad day on Thursday. I had one of my "I don't care days" and I didn't do the things I promised that I would do for myself. I didn't exercise, and I could have, I didn't blog, I didn't write down what I ate that day and I had an all around stubborn day of not caring if I did any of the things I was suppose to do. Why you ask, because I weighted myself in the middle of the week instead of waiting until Friday and what I saw on the scale didn't make me happy at all I had gained back 1 pound of what I had lost the week before. I started tearing myself down and beating myself up. Thinking that I was a bad person. Not focusing on what I did do good for myself that day. I didn't bing eat, and I could have with the mood I was in. I was drinking my eight glasses of water that I pledge to do and I posted in one of my groups, I also signed in and got my Spark points.

I'm sorry to say I'm and A personality and I think I have to be perfect in everything that I do and if I'm not then my self esteem goes down hill. I feel like I'm a bad person. I'm sure all of this stems from the way I was brought up. If I didn't do things right I would get put down by one or the other of my parents. They wanted me to be the perfect little lady at all times. I wasn't suppose to cry or get angry at any time. These kinds of scars can lead to self destruction when trying to lose weight. This is the time I need to say to myself "I need help", but I don't because I've always was taught to take care of myself and not to lean on others through tough times. Maybe, just maybe if I had told someone on Spark People that I need some help I could have made it a better day for myself. We all need someone to give us a helping hand at one time or the other and my silly pride should not keep me in the way of seeking help.

Friday was a good day, I felt better about myself and stopped feeling so blue. I did my exercises, drank my water, exercised my cat, made my group entry, I didn't blog though. I did sign in and get my spark points. So I had a much better day and was feeling a lot better about myself and moving on ward.

Please don't be to hard on yourself going though this process like I was on myself. It only takes you backwards not forwards. And for goodness sake ask for help when your sinking like that, don't keep it to yourself, like I did. Very self destructive.

And I really need a buddy very badly if anyone would like to be that buddy to me I sure would appreciate having one. I know it's better to share your ups and downs with another person. I've had it on my Spark page for a long time but no one ever answered my request.
Have a fun weekend my dear Spark friends.
Judy
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 1GRNTHMB
    Judy, It is real interesting that you understand the reason why you have the break downs and where it all stems from. It is really good that you do understand this and still do what you should, even if it is from routine. Don't get upset over 1 pound. As my doctor tols me that might just be water. I can go up and down up to ten pounds a day just from the water I drink and what I lose. Well any way that is the way it was when I was working. Don't know if it applies anymore but it should to some extent. We all have bad days. Just don't make them bad weeks, months or years.

    3767 days ago
  • GRAMAJMG
    Sorry to hear about your bad day, but after reading your blog, I noticed that you kept some of the great habits we learn on Spark. You didn't overeat and drand all your water. Try to remember all the good things you did do!! Unfortnately none of us are ever perfect. All we can do is learn from our mistakes. Hey, I would love to be your buddy. How do I go about doing that? emoticon
    3770 days ago
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