This Time Is Different

I have read several blogs this past week that talks about starting over. It has started me thinking about my diet past and how many times I started over. I even have a few of those blogs on here. I have started and failed many times. I would lose twenty pounds then gain thirty. It was a constant cycle. Since I was nine-years-old I have been on a diet or thinking about starting a diet. I even did stupid things in my teens that my mom may still kill me for if she knew. Skipping meals, vomiting, diet pills, they all kept me thin for a few years but stress and depression won out.

Reading all of these others talking about their history and how this time will be different made me wonder why this time was different for me. I said "this time I am going to do it" so many times the words lost their meaning. When I started with SparkPeople last October, I said the same thing. I struggled for months and wrote so many starting over blogs I am sure everyone got sick of hearing those words. But this time was different. Yes, I have had some small gains and hit a few plateaus. But each time I dusted myself off and pushed forward. So why was this time different? I think it has to do with what I have learned from SparkPeople. Instead of dieting I changed my lifestyle. I took small steps instead of jumping into a complicated and demanding program. And most importantly, confidence.

Success made me confident in my ability to change. Believing I could do it made all of the difference. Losing weight made me look better which gave me more confidence. I am more comfortable in my skin. This confidence that began with losing a few pounds has translated into all areas of my life. I am better at my job because I believe in myself more. I am a better mother because I am happier and a better role model for my children. I speak up more in class and do not worry about sounding stupid as often. I am a better wife because I love myself more and so I believe Scott can love me. I am more courageous and adventurous. I even bought a semi-sexy (kid friendly but short and sleeveless) witches costume for Halloween. I have not dressed up since middle school. I am a different person because I have more confidence in my ability to be successful.

This time was different. I can't say that I have done it because I am still a long way from the end of my journey, but I am doing it. My life has been changed and I am now a success story not another failure. So when I read a starting over blog, I am going to encourage that person to make this time different. If someone like me can do it, you can too.