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I will....

Sunday, October 17, 2010

My last blog entry was January 4, 2010. On January 6th they told us my mom had stage 4 cancer, no treatment options. They gave her 3 to 6 months, and the Dr. must've known what he was talking about because she passed away in July. The only up side is that her heart gave out before the cancer could ravage her too much, so she didn't suffer nearly as much as she could have. Sometimes I miss her so much I don't think I can keep breathing, sometimes it's just an awful ache, but miss her I do, every minute of every day. She was my best friend, my truest love, my biggest fan. When she died I felt like I had 2 choices...one choice, the easier choice, would be to simply give up, to give in to the grief and depression. The other choice would be to get on with my life, honor her memory by being the best ME I can be. I'm attempting to take the 2nd path. It's not easy, and I imagine that the journey will continue to be like a roller coaster ride emotionally, but I want to keep focused on the fact that she was a strong woman and she raised me to be strong as well, and it would not be a credit to her for me to wimp out on life. So, mom, for you I will finish all the things I have started...beginning by getting back on the path to health and wellness.
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  • no profile photo CD7599351
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    3830 days ago
  • TEENY_BIKINI
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    3830 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    I'm sorry to hear about your mother. That's a difficult thing to go through.

    I'm looking forward to seeing you around SparkMontana more often.

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    3830 days ago
  • SCREWIE
    Sending you good thoughts and positive vibes. I'm sure your mum is looking on you from wherever she is now and feeling very proud at what a strong daughter she brought up.

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    3831 days ago
  • SPOOKYMH
    Hang in there. Losing a parent is difficult. My mother was in a car accident and suffered frontal lobe dementia. She knows all of her children but hates us and has "disowned" us. It is almost as devastating as losing her. She will never be the mother I know in this lifetime. I have to hold faith that the Lord will restore the mother I know when I meet her in heaven. Hang in there. If you ever need to chat, I am here.
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    3831 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/17/2010 4:57:25 AM
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