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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I have been struggling for a few day this past weekend and weekend. I think the only thing I have managed to do is get my water intake in. I haven't stayed on program, I have been eating WAY to much (and then feeling sick after I do it) and have not been getting in my fruits and veggies.

I will also mention that the bf's father has also brought in 2 huge bowls of candy. Taffy, caramels, hard candy. All that stuff that I find it really difficult to NOT eat. The stuff that I need to stay far away from. I don't crave or want it if it isn't there. SO his dad brings it in, pours it all into a bowl and tells me to keep it on the kitchen table so he can grab some when he walks downstairs. Plain sight ........ out in the open. i am going to request for the 3rd time tomorrow that my bf move that crap OFF the kitchen table. I don't care to where, but I have ate about 1/4 of the bowl by myself. There are cookies all over the place, Halloween candy still in a bowl, and now more candy. This man also knows that I am on a 'diet' (he can't comprehend a lifestyle change of eating properly I guess) and that I am trying to cut sweets from my diet. I am at a loss of what to do.

I am giving myself about 2 more weeks I think to find some sort of job, and if I don't I am going back to Indiana. I am at a loss as what to do. I need help and the strength to leave my wonderful bf because I cannot live with his father. I know my resume is a decently strong one, but am at a total loss of not being able to find SOMETHING out here to support myself.

I also wonder at times if i don't have PMDD or am slightly bi-polar. My mood swings at times even scare me. If I can find a job and get insurance, I may look into that and see if that can go further. I try not to make many big decision at my TOM because I am worried that my emotions/hormone fluctuations take too large a roll in them. I am trying to keep my hopes up for a job soon and will be following up on a couple of applications I submitted the past couple of weeks. Wish me luck!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Remember sugar is a drug. Sounds like the temptation is way to much for you. Try looking at that candy like poison. It's really bad for all of us. Moderation is the key. Maybe allow yourself one a day. I've also read books on sugar addiction and the knowledge really helped me a lot. We have a wonderful library in downtown Hayward that has so many books on food addictions. Check it out! It's fun. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3634 days ago
    Good luck with the job hunt! Your living situation sounds very hard and I hope you can change that for the better soon. You sound like you feel stuck at the moment and I know how frustrating that can be. Once you can change one thing the others will resolve themselves too. Take care!

    3635 days ago
    I don't know that the issue is necessarily bipolar or PMDD as much as it is the living situation right now! I'm not saying it's not, but I'd haven a feeling if you could get away from his dad, that things would be different! Hang in there....take care of yourself!!!!
    3635 days ago
    Hope you can find a job soon, but if you don't, it might be better for your health's sake to go back to Indiana. Its very hard to have to live with someone who doesn't care what they eat. If neither your bf or his daddy eats properly, its a lost cause if they are the ones bringing the junk into the house. Sorry you have to deal with this and mood swings..Job hunting has been so hard for many of my Spark buddies :((
    My thoughts are with you,, hope something resolves soon..
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    3636 days ago
    Oh Boy, lots on your plate! Take care of you! and the rest will fall into place. You can do it! Good luck!
    3636 days ago
    Good luck. Thanks for sharing honestly where you are. Take one day at a time and follow your heart.
    3636 days ago
    Good Luck Hun!! I know you can do it!!
    3636 days ago
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