Old Dog trying New Tricks
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I'm supposed to go register for school tomorrow & I'm starting to panic for whatever reason. This is such a huge step for me - a housebound-selfemployed/housew
ife/mother for the last 20 years. And I've been ok with with it mentally up to this point - taking it ONE step at a time. But the last few days, I think being weak from this cold, I've started getting a little bit fearful. Have been trying to decide whether to only take ONE class, or all 3 at one time - the whole thing is ONLY ONE SEMESTER. It would be good, especially starting in the middle of the year, to get it ALL done, ya know? Instead of dragging it out until next DECEMBER. I'm just so unsure of my ability to learn this stuff. Alot of people say, "It CAN be done!", while others, like my sister, say, "Ooooh.. you better be carrreful.... When I took JUST ONE COURSE, I like to NEVER have gotten all the homework done. It was AWFUL!!! I'd work for 6 and 8 hours a day, & it was grueling!!" (accounting) She is a very "cautious" person, (& negative), & perhaps didn't have the best home situation for what she was trying to do either. I know all this. But then I wonder, will "I" have the discipline & mental capability? I'm going to be 51 years old NEXT WEEK - egad. lol That's another reason I don't want to drag this out.
Also, I've had an extremely stress filled year, from helping care for my aging father & then his death, to 2 Major family splits w/much animosity (not with my husband, ok), to a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which we are in the middle of now. We go for our creditors meeting on the 30th, which is my husband's birthday. Mine is the day before, on the 29th. I sure wish I could have gotten this overwith before that. I guess I'll just be glad to have it done by Christmas, right.
Oh - my Health, you say? Huh...how bout that. I was on a good streak until the last 2 or 3 weeks, & I like totally fell off the wagon. And then got sick. I know I have to take care of myself if I'm going to pull any of this off.
Oh yes - the 23 lb turkey - got to go get THAT out of the freezer - maybe my brain is still working a little bit - I remembered that! There'll be 6 or 7 of us for Tday - alot less than many have to cook for, but more than I am used to. If I can just get over this cold & get the house cleaned up!
I'm rambling, so I'll quit now. Just feeling kind of overwhelmed, fearful & weak this morning.