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A cry for HELP...NOT a positive blog...enter at your own risk!

Friday, January 21, 2011

I need help and I need it badly. Some of you may not know me, but I am usually perky with a smile on my face always willing to help ANYONE that needs it.

I am in such a deep funk I am considering going back on meds at least until Spring arrives. Before our Disney trip at Thanksgiving I was on top of the world with a toned body and metabolism that wouldn't quit because I was working out every day and totally loving my running. Now, with the COLD GRAY winter I just want to hibernate.

Christmas took alot our of me emotionally because I really missed my Mom this year more than ever. That brought me down further. A few weeks ago our office moved to a new location and that really kicked my OCD back into high gear. Our workload at the office is down right now and that always gives me great anxiety as hubby and I have alot of $$$ invested. This happens every winter and you would think I would be used to it. Evidently not.

I suffered from a bout with the flu this week and that did not help at all. I am still trying to get back physically from that debacle. Each morning I wake up with new hope only to be back in my dark place by noon. My eating is crap, Coors Light is becoming my friend and solace and sleeping is great comfort.

I have my Princess HM in 5 weeks and it is my ray of sunshine. Unfortunately, my running is suffering because of the weather. yes, I know I can get all layered up and just head out the door. That is so easy to say...doing it is the hard part. Our streets are FROZEN with ICE right now. Do you want to go out in that crap? Go for it. Knock yourself out. Enjoy!

Now that I have all of that toxic crap spilled emptied from my head, I come to my friends with a cry for help. I need someone to help me out of this deep hole and I beg for a helping hand. Please!

My plan for today is to get on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes after work. That is, if I don't talk myself out of it by then. I asked Dr. Lake (my A.R.T. chiro) last night if I could possibly lose my running fitness and she reassured me I am not and that it is in fact beneficial that I am taking this break.

Another positive is that I have a pair of SportHill XC insulated pants coming and a few fellow Spark runners that live in this dreadful cold weather swear by them. I also have a Buff neck gaiter coming (Google it) to replace the scarf I had been using that is a pain in the neck (pun intended LOL). In other words, I am trying to streamline the process of getting out the door to run this winter. I am trying to get rid of layers and the pants will do that. Its worth it to me.

If anyone has any ideas to help me climb out of this hole PLEASE let me know. I want to get back into a fitness groove and no...I don't want to do an hour of fitness every day. I don't roll that way. Just 10 minutes a day is the start I need and let the Spark build from there. Its the getting started that is the hard part.

THANK YOU so much for reading this blog if you made it this far. Now you know why I I have been so quiet here and on Facebook. I have been busy wallowing away the hours having a pity party while hibernating in my cave.

I will be back.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry Laurie, I JUST SAW THIS!!!! :(

    From your recent blogs it sounds like you are doing much, much better. I, too, have been experiencing some winter blues. Lack of sunlight and no warmth (except for those awesome couple of days last week) is just depressing. I'm ready for it to be OVER with. It sucks! I'm the type that even just changing my clothes to workout was seeming daunting. And cold. And I questioned if it was worth it. (stupid I know) but a lady @ the Gym used one of the hair dryers to warm up her shoes and clothes before changing into them. No joke, it has really helped me want to take the time to change into my gym clothes at lunch because it's just a little more comfortable. Another part I hate about winter is lugging all the crap around with me all the time. Plus the fact that I gave up my gym locker when I left to work in Ames. Now that I'm back, I'm on a mile-long list to get a new gym locker - so I always have to carry my shampoo, hair junk, etc. blah.

    Oh well - it will get better VERY soon - even sooner for you missy who is going to FLORIDA in a few weeks!! :)
    3723 days ago
  • MARIE625
    Another late party arriver here. I feel for you. Last year, I ran in 18 inches of snow & slush. This year, I find myself not running because there might be ice out there. Yeah, "might be." Sheesh. I don't really have too many words of wisdom other than just go do it. Get up off your butt and go do it. Even if you just run to the end of your block. Heck, walk to the end of your block. Just get out and start. Once you start, you'll keep going. And while you are at it, no beer. No beer for just one day. Then turn it into 2 days, then 3.... Unless of course you run. If you run, you can have a beer. What better motivation is there than that?
    I frequently find myself dreading a run these days. Sometimes it takes me hours to talk myself into heading out the door. But I always, ALWAYS feel better afterwards. No matter how slow & painful and/or cold & miserable the run was, I always feel better. Happier, healthier & more motivated to do it again the next day.

    Good luck!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3728 days ago
    Awe honey, I think a lot of us suffer this time of year. I get S.A.D for sure. I have found that running on the treadmill, though unpopular with some, has become my saving grace. I will do speed intervals or hill repeats, progression runs, whatever it takes to take my mind off of it. oops a day late and a dollar short, sorry!
    3728 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/25/2011 3:49:21 PM
    Oh, sweet friend of mine... I'm so sorry I missed this yesterday!! I hope you jumped on that treadmill and gave it hell!!

    Winter sucks... nuff said. What you need to do is just KNOW that you have to do this stuff to make yourself feel better. I know all too well what you're going through b/c I'm suffering from the same winter blues (and *I* am already *ON* medication!!) but we'll get through it. All I need is some stinking sunshine and I'll be good to go again. But in the meantime, I'm dragging my butt out there (to the nearest treadmill) to run. Boring, I know, but you can make it interesting by running intervals. See how hard you can go and then take a walk break, and then do it again. It takes the monotony out of treadmill running.

    With the fitness will come the better eating. You'll realize as you're running that you should have had water instead of that beer and you'll choose otherwise later b/c you'll feel soooo much better after the run! I promise.

    I hope you feel betters, sweets!
    3728 days ago
    first off love you sweet girl.
    second call me or text me.
    third i don't live in that kind of cold....but it is 25 degrees colder here then a "normal texas winter". so I understand about not wanting to get out in it.

    my friend told me she stands in front of a space heater before she gets dressed out to work out. i tried that and it's been helpful.

    the best thing to get out of the funk is to just get out there and move.

    i too have been in the dull drums, but i blew the dust off the treadmill and ran today. :D

    thinking of you sweet girl.
    love you, mean it.

    3729 days ago
    I'm sorry that I'm late getting here! I'm am just so relieved to know while I was reading this, that you have already begun to chip away at this winter FUNK! You're doing great things for yourself, keep it up!!
    3730 days ago
    Sorry that I'm late to the party!

    I say this out of love; PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR @$$!!!


    I've dealt with the same self pity, wallowing. Getting back out, even in the cold, cuts the blues. Today is a perfect example of making a conscience choice about making a difference.
    3731 days ago
    Oh - I feel for you! It must be VERY hard to get out in the cold weather. I know I find it difficult (and it is only in the 40's) -- but I know you can do it!!!

    I can't wait to meet you at the Princess -- woo hoo -- it is coming up quickly.

    3731 days ago
    Positivity challenge team? New one, and I'm liking what I see there . . .

    Love all the ideas here especially DDOORN's -- totally agree, it's completely positive to be looking for support when you're down.

    I'm finding a light box and cross country skiing are helping me a whole lot this winter -- (have blogged about these recently).

    A pot of hyacinths? low cost, smell great!!

    3731 days ago
    Good for you to start small!

    These winters are tough and I've had similar on & off struggles myself. I have a similar reaction to getting out to walk / jog in this weather (upstate NYer that I am...!) but one thing I've discovered: if I just PUSH my butt out the door and start putting one foot ahead of the other I soon start to feel pretty good and am pleased that I made the effort to do this!

    Another idea: rack your brain to list all those things that you know when you do 'em somehow help you to feel better...and then put the list somewhere conspicuous so that if you are stuck like deer in the headlights with that depressed, anxious mood you have this list to refer to, to remind yourself that you really ARE smarter than you feel at that time and can pull a plan of action off your list!

    Remember: the days are getting longer. The sun's comin' up sooner and and hangin' 'round longer...you gotta take heart in that! I know it's been helping me through my cycling withdrawal (I refuse to bike in this cold, sloppy weather!).

    Hang in there...kudos to having the strength to know when you need to shout out for a helping hand! :-)


    ps...oh, and my last point proves that contrary to your blog title, this really is a POSITIVE blog!
    3731 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/22/2011 2:44:34 PM
    I am sorry, Laurie, that you feel this way. Winter is tough! Lately I read somewhere (maybe even here on Spark) that exercising is as effective as pills for depression. That did get my attention and helps me go out there when I don't feel like it at all.

    I hope you are feeling better! Sending you Gulf coast sunshine!
    3731 days ago
  • BOBBYD31
    i think it was the hawkeyes bad season that cause this. LOL next year will be better. no words of wisdom here just a big emoticon . another thing to try is fish oil, as long as i take one a day i am pretty good.
    10 a day, you can do that! start a streak!
    3731 days ago
  • NANCY-
    First of all
    Huge emoticon to you.
    Secondly you are probably still recovering from that illness so be kind to your body and do a bit of pampering to yourself.
    Third... I hear you about the weather thing. An alternate to the treadmill may be a 15 min walk.
    One Mile Walk (inside to Leslie Sansone)
    The music helps perk me up too.
    It is wonderful that you are finding things to make your fitness more pleasurable. Thanks for sharing what works for you.
    3731 days ago
    I know you don't know me. But I read your blog. I love that you are starting to exercise again just 10 minutes at a time. Just don't ever ask yourself if you want to exercise. Just schedule it and do it. I never ever ask myself if I want to exercise. Just do it. Unless I am sick I just don't ask.

    Good luck getting better. keep moving forward.
    3732 days ago
    Laurie, My friend You have recieved al kinds of advice here and its great when we call for help how many of our friends come a running. Np pun intended - ok maybe! I have noticed as of late that alot of my friends are struggling - me too! the last year for me sucked in some many phases. I was abe to stay focused with the running and it has helped me through and you know what else got me through all my spark friends. I really don't think I would be where I am today without them.

    lean on us Laurie - we are so here for you - Its good that you were abe to share this with us - I know the weather and cold has you down and you will be great at the Princess. when you get there and its warm and "The happiest place on Earth" all this will go away. Maybe you haven't beena ble to train the way you wanted. It won't matter you will do fine! and remember that we are all here shouting you to the finish line.

    Giant hugs for you all the way from Oregon - wet and gray and gloomy here too!

    Your spark friend

    3732 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1223914
    Just breathe and trust in God, he knows what's best for you!
    3732 days ago
    Awwww Sweetie!!! I came a lookin' for you and am so glad I did!! Your friends have given you some wonderful suggestions and I love how supportive your sweet Daughter-in-Law is :) Yeay Emily! What a blessin' that lil girl is!!

    I've had my share of blues this winter too babe! It's dreary & it's not uncommon to be down; to be down to this degree may take a little extra help from your friends (& talking to your Doc is not a bad idea), but I sure hope you'll do exactly as you just did & blog your thoughts as you're going through this! Give your friends a chance to support you. Writing it all out is a healthy practice!! Be honest sweetie!! Look already at how many friends have been where you are & are willing & ready to lend their advice & a helping hand!!

    10 mins a day is more than fabulous because it's a start :) When I get on the dreadmill, I make a deal w/ myself to stay on it for "X" # of minutes (varies for me) & if I want to get off after that, I can. Sometimes I do but more often I remain on because I push myself just a little bit longer each time. And I've run outdoors more this winter than ever before; I'm a self-confessed wimp!! But I bundle up & after 1 mile in, I'm typically okay!! So glad you've ordered the gear you need to keep you warm :)

    HUGS to ya Ms Laurie!! Thank you AGAIN, for the privilege of being here for you :) don't have much to offer but two long arms that are reaching all the way across cyberspace & huggin' ya tight!! FEEL THAT???
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Love ya ALWAYS!! ~Deej
    3732 days ago
  • EMILY1244
    10 minutes a day... you'll do your ten minutes and remember how great it makes you feel! Winter sucks, and this negative degree stuff super sucks, but don't torture yourself. You have been in this long enough to know what you NEED to do (i.e. eat clean, exercise, get plenty of sleep, drink your H2O) but sometimes you have these low points.... I know I had one recently. I believe a wise friend told me that it was a case of Cabin Fever and to do whatever I could to get outside and RUN. So I listened. Listen to your Friends, try their advice. Don't curl up and give in. You know how absolutely fabulous iit felt to get OFF those meds. If you can't resign yourself to ANOTHER TM run, maybe it is time to find a new, fun cardio to XT with until the temps rise a bit (like in the double digits. I mean is 12 REALLY so much to ask for?!) I will be up there in a second if you need me. (well, like 35 minutes) We can get gizwitchied and layered up and we can go together, if it would help. I dont have fancy pants, but I would do it. You have given me a lift when I needed one... I can do the same for you. We could do Turbo Jam and make laughing fools of ourselves!
    3732 days ago
  • TIGGER622
    Interesting thoughts with the magnesium... worth a try? Did you visit the sites at all?
    3732 days ago
    Oh Laurie,

    It sounds like a ton of us CAN relate. I have definitely been there and I fear to get in that place EVERY winter... ( knock on wood, so far so good).

    With regards to your well-being, it is really important to be extra kind and gentle to yourself- get extra rest ( the laundry, TV, chores etc CAN wait!), eat nutritous food- even if you are drinking beer and eating stuff that you don't want to) anything good is going to help!

    Keep blogging and venting and talking about it, so that you can encourage yourself and be encouraged to get up each morning, wipe the slate clean and try your best!

    I like the potential SAD lamp.. have considered getting one myself.

    As for winter running - I have learned to "enjoy" the treadmill- INTERVALS with some rocking music HELP! Allow yourself to back off, take a walk break, a water break and ease of the pace if you are tired and/or not feeling the run. It's about consistency.
    If you do go outside- maybe throw your clothes in the dryer for a few minutes- to just get you nice and snuggie. Wear extra sucks and gloves or buy some winterized running shoes and that other gear WILL make all the difference in the world. Commit to your Sparkfriends and report back! Or make running plans with someone - virtual or real.

    What about the music? Splurge and get some new, fun, hopping music- it'll pay for itself!

    And know that your Sparkfriends are here for you- always!
    3732 days ago
    Hi Laurie-

    I am sorry you are in this bad place right now, and although we do not know each other in person, we know each other in circumstance. I am in southern NH, it has been cold and snowy here too. I miss the sunshine, and I miss my mom as well. It has been 8 years since she passed away, and I think of her always. Moms are so special. Moms give us life, and we grow inside them under their heart until we are ready to face the world through birth! What a void is left in the wake of a mother's passing. My heart is with you.

    As to the other sadness that you are having- I can offer you some wonderful advice that worked for me. The doctors had me on medication for the 'dips' in mood, and doldrums. I didn't like it at all, because while it seemed to help, it caused me to not 'feel like myself' at all. Further, many of those medications always need to be adjusted upwards, as our bodies adjust to the dosages.

    There is a reason for this- our bodies are smart! They do not like being artificially manipulated into producing serotonin, and the brain begins to adjust, causing the levels to dip once more.

    I have done so much reading on this, and would encourage you to do the same. I found that a very simple mineral is a powerhouse when it comes to all sorts of issues in the body: Magnesium. It is amazing, and it is inexpensive, and easy to take. I can never say enough about it.

    Online, check out George Eby's research - lots of sites, here is one to get you started:


    and here is another, by Dr. Carolyn Dean who wrote the book: The Magnesium Miracle:


    I have used the Magnesium spray (I ordered mine on Amazon.com, but I know that it is available in healthfood stores, or natural food markets sometimes. I have used both brands: Ancient Minerals, as well as DermaMag (which has its own website, PACKED with information too!)

    The spray is great to have on hand, it can be applied directly to the skin and rubbed in, it can be added to water for a foot bath (quick easy way to absorb into the bloodstream, and OH so relaxing.) and it does not have any side effects at all. (Some people say there may be some when taking high doses of oral magnesium, and some say that not all of the oral magnesium you take actually gets absorbed in the digestive tract. This is not the case with the oil, it is absorbed Transdermally, right through the skin!)

    One other note about the spray- you do not get any side effects of having too much, as sometimes can occur with oral magnesium, which is digestive: diarrhea. It does not always happen, but it's possible. The body will let you know if you have had too much, and it is not toxic, it will not build up in tissues. The body will eliminate it. If you are deficient, you can (and should) use more magnesium until you level off. There is lots of information in the reading materials suggested. If you have any questions about my personal experience, I'll be happy to answer them.

    Magnesium is calming, it helps depression (worked great for me, no chemicals! I was able to get off medications, and stay off !!!), and it helps muscle cramps, and sleep. Sounds amazing that it can do all that, I know, but TRUST me please. It works!

    Please try this, it is easy, it is inexpensive, and it is fast! Please also drop a line on my page to let me know if you have had some relief. Know that you are not alone. If there is anything I can do or say to help, please just reach out.
    3732 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/21/2011 3:09:40 PM
  • no profile photo CD1808545
    I know these are not the words that you were hoping for, but;

    ME TOO!

    On one of my teams I explained that I had been depressed all week, and have actually cried all morning. I have kept up with my running schedule (Thanks to a treadmill), but just keep drowning my sorrows in chocolate, cookies, and Hawaiian Punch. I usually drink nothing but water, and this is orange flavored sugar!

    I hope that with the sunshine, renewed happiness and vigor will come.

    3732 days ago
    Morning sweet friend..(I left you a message with a spark goodie).

    3732 days ago
    I am SO there with you on getting into that funk because of the cold weather! I am in SE WI and even IF I can layer and get out and run, I cannot during the week because it's dark when I leave for work and dark when I get back.

    I have the emoticon too and for some reason it is just so hard to get on the bugger. I really slipped in November and 1/2 way thru December did better and have been running twice a week.

    I now have a game plan! I am going to do the C25K over again so this way I can throw a towel over the emoticon display because, truthfully, seeing the minutes crawl by is do demotivational. When I'm outside emoticon I see road disappear.. big difference.

    This way, I figure when I am done w/ the 9 weeks, it will be the Ides of March (love that saying) and I'll have more time to be outside and I can bust into the 10K work outs I was doing last October.


    and I'm making you a friend because I see your posts often and love your profile pic!
    3732 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/21/2011 11:48:26 AM
    I think all of us get down into that hole every now and then, and long and cold winters really don't help, I imagine.
    Lots of brilliant replies already.
    Since you are taking action to combat your funk, I'm confident you'll be able to pull yourself up. I like the 10 minutes a day exercise idea to ease your way back in.
    Sending you lots of emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3732 days ago
    Hey, girl! I was totally dealing with that same issue just up until a week ago. Now, I made a conscious decision to have a plan to push me forward. On top of it, my SAD was getting the best of me and what has allowed me to stay off my meds was starting to overcome me. I wasn't all weepy like I have been in years past, just blah and unmotivated--just how the meds sometimes make me feel--numb to my own emotions. So, now I am back to walking because it's too chilly right now for me to run and I do it during the day at work. Just 2 15-minute, 1 mile walks around our work complex and then I do my ST in the evenings when I get home. I just put a plan together for myself and it's in my blog. I even have a blog similar to this talking about being in the dark place. Start with what's in your head--choose to take the next step. Choose to believe the good things. Focus on what's right and good and positive and release the things that hold back your happiness. You can do this!! emoticon
    3732 days ago
    Oh, Laurie! I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I know a lot of people brush this off as some kind of made-up thing or as something they don't take seriously, but it's nothing to take lightly. MayoClinic.com has some really great information about SAD. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/se

    I think you should read that article, and then talk to your doctor about this. He or she may recommend light therapy or melatonin. If not, ASK about them. I suspect that those of us who spend a lot of time exercising outside may be even more prone to SAD because it's such a sharp dropoff in the amount of natural daylight experienced.

    I hope you feel better soon. Please know that you have a lot of people pulling for you.
    3732 days ago
    To add to your excitement about the Princess...You just HAVE to come to the Spark Meet Up Saturday afternoon at Earl of Sandwich! For the January race, we had over 20 Sparkers there! I really really really really really really wanna meet you IRL!

    I am so sorry you're struggling. Like I've told you in a previous blog comment, I have the same problem in the winter and also went through a bad sickness which had me in a funk. I think your baby step idea is a good one. 10 minutes a day of fitness. Make sure you're drinking your water. Don't worry about the calories, but make sure you get in 5+ servings of freggies. You don't have to go back to extreme, but make some small steps. Hopefully that will get you back in the groove and feeling good about yourself.

    A word of warning...those Coors Lights could really be contributing to the funk. I know its a temporary fix, but long term its ineffectual.

    Remember that exercise releases endorphins, which will help you feel better naturally. I hope you feel better soon! And feel free to vent...that's what we're here for!
    3732 days ago
    Know you are not alone. This time if year is very hard on many of us. Take comfort in this - the Solstice is past and the days are getting longer already. This will pass. It's great that you have goals and that you are taking steps to equip yourself for your runs. Keep focosed on that.

    Try not to beat yourself up too much...it's the last thing you need. Remember the year has a rhythm just like the day does. There's a time for getting up early and staying up late, and a time to rest and hibernate. This is it.

    Like others have said though, a light box or a bit of pharma help can do wonders.

    All the best, Angelika
    3732 days ago
    Even the strongest among us have to find the funk from time to time. Give yourself credit for not giving in and for having the strength to ask for help.

    I see a couple people recommended light therapy and I think it might be worth a try. The ones thta are supposed to treat SAD are pretty expensive. Most I've seen are more than $100. I did find a really good light for my Mother In Law for about $40. While it doesn't clain to treat SAD it does have a bulb that mimics the spectrum of natural light and is very powerful. It might help with mild cases. If you can spend a few minutes in that light first thing in the morning and a good 30-60 minutes each eveing, it might help. They have a floor lamp version that is very portable so you could set it by a chair and read or have it light the floor while you exercise. I'm not going to recommend a specific one because I've not used it myself but check out Amazon.com and look for SAD lamp.' That will show you all the options.

    Hang in there and keep Sparking. You can fight your way past this!
    3732 days ago
    Sounds like me before I moved to Florida. Maybe you have seasonal disorder, lack of sunlight really messed me up when I lived in Connecticut. See if you can get a full-spectrum light and use it at least 15 minutes a day.
    Also you mentioned medication, what's wrong with taking an anti- depressant? I've been taking 150 mgs of Welbutrin a day for years it keeps me from level. When I stop taking it after a few months I start feeling like life is just not worth the effort and I start having off the chart reactions to things. A lot of things can mess up our serotonin levels and we need these to be correct or depression kicks in.
    Also the grief of having a parent die is not something you can put a time limit on. After my dad died I would still start crying because something reminded me of him. I would get a sharp stabbing feeling in my chest, I missed him so much. It's been 19 years since he died and to this day I still miss him real bad, it still hurts he's not here. It sounds like your stressed out and sad. I hope you can break out of this and be happy again.

    3732 days ago
    We do miss our ray of sunshine!! I wish I could come and run with you this weekend, but Kaylee has a basketball tournament on Saturday and family plans on Sunday. I miss you commenting on my blogs!!! We miss you - You will pull through this- you are one tough cookie!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3732 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6500201
    I think you have def taken a step in the right direction in asking for help.. I think that if you can get some motivation from these comments and hit the treadmill tonight for at least 30 min, you will feel so much better! The Dr is right, taking a break is beneficial and once you catch your breath, things will be better than before! Hang in there. Chin up. You can do it !!!

    3732 days ago
    doing is what is going to help you get thru this... you have all the intellectual knowledge of why you are going thru what you are going thru.. i would strongly suggest to stop the Coors beer.. alcohol is a depressant which will add to your seasonal affective symptoms.. writing this blog, asking for help, "telling people where you are at"-- that is the first steps to getting out of this.. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! but maybe you are one of the few that gets the help and turns things around..all the best emoticon
    3732 days ago
    emoticon Laurie.

    I don't have the winter duldroms - because usually in Florida we get a few days of sunshine a week. Have you considered getting a light - you know the ones that simulate sunshine .... perhaps you need light therapy.

    I wish I lived closer and could drag you out for a run every other day (that is all this old body of mine can take).

    I want to chipper and upbeat at the Princess - can't wait to meet you. I will be there Early Saturday AM at the EXPO then to check in at the hotel as soon as I can get it. We will have to go out to dinner on Saturday night.
    3732 days ago
  • BAM0827
    I'm not sure why you need Spark's help it looks like you know what you need and where you want to go - that's half the battle. Give yourself some credit! I think that just by ordering some winter gear, you're headed in the right direction. Acknowledge and celebrate that you're doing things that will make you be where you want to be - don't dwell as much on the crappy things.

    When I'm about to talk myself out of the gym I remind myself - "I've never regretted going to the gym, but I've regretted not going" and I go. I'm sure you're the same. Even if you hate the whole 30 minutes you're walking on a treadmill, when you're done, it was worth it. It's a huge confidence builder.

    Winter and snow/ice is something so out of our control but we all give it so much power over us. So what can you control? Is there somewhere you can go this weekend that you just love to be? A fun bookstore? A museum? A park? A friend's house you haven't seen in awhile? Somewhere that your mood lifts immediately when entering? How about treating yourself to a fun place this weekend. If you don't have a place like that - maybe a goal is to go somewhere new that can possibly be your new happy place that you can go to at times like this.
    3732 days ago
    Sounds like it's time to load up some I Love Lucy reruns and hop on the treadmill. Walk if you don't feel like running. Just moving should help. I blogged just yesterday about how a 25 minute run out on the icy/windy streets was the antidote for some serious crankiness for me.

    This time of year it's so much easier for me to get cranky. Some people would probably say that's easy for me year 'round.

    3732 days ago
    Oh SWEETIE!! emoticon

    I'm so glad you blogged about it because for every person that talks about feeling like crap, there are likely 100 others who keep it all inside!

    Seasonal Affective Disorder is NO JOKE! Winter blues can be so debilitating! I'm so glad you are doing positive things such as keeping active on SP forums etc as well as getting ready for the HM!!

    I have a couple of suggestions ...
    1.) find a running partner or several or a group to run with. People who are going to keep you getting out there, and keep you social!

    2.) Vitamin supplements to help counteract the winter blues. I have heard Vitamin D is a good one. Vitamin B is a great mood balancer. I have taken a B blend called Stress Ease but I've just read about and started taking L-Theanine. Why not talk to your family doctor and check in with your local health foods store to see what they can suggest?

    3.) Be kind to yourself!!! You will get through this BLAH, stoopid, icky time!! It's poison! Don't give it permission to roost in you! Keep reaching out and blogging about it! The more you put it out there, the more perspective you're going to get and it will help to at least clear your mind! Don't keep it all inside of you! That's why we're here!!

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    3732 days ago
    Sorry things are so caca right now! Really sounds like some SAD (seasonal affective disorder)- along with normal depression around losing your mom. Make sure to talk to your doctor about it. SOmetimes we need a little pharmaceutical help emoticon
    Of course the running will help, but you have to want to get out there and do it. Princess HM sounds like a great motivation! Best wishes and hugs! emoticon
    3732 days ago
    Laurie, we are here for you, each and every day, here for you. One thing I would think of doing, get a running buddy. Get that person, who when you do go outdoors, you do NOT want to let down. I know you said you run with a running group, any of them want to do another run? You need a person who will come and ring your door bell until you peel yourself out of your bed to go and work out with them. But we're here for you. Wishing you well, praying for your health. Honestly, if what it takes is medicine for just a couple of months, I'm all for that, too. whatever it takes to make your clock tick again.

    Hugs to you.
    3732 days ago
    I am going through the same thing as you right now. Depression has taken control. Like you, I wake up everyone morning with the attitude that I'm going to fight it. It's difficult. We know that if we exercise we will feel better yet we feel too bad to exercise. I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

    3732 days ago
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    Winter blues are horrible - I never figured I'd have as rough a time of it as I've had this season (way too many snow events in NJ, coupled with negative effects on my ability to work, to say nothing of that situation in and of itself - well, you get the picture).....

    Sometimes "hibernating" can be just the ticket......hang in there - so many of us have been in your shoes and "get it".....

    3732 days ago
    Oh, Laurie! Winter is such a crappy, cold time! I hate it too! It can do a number on us physically and emotionally, I can completey relate. I have been feeling down and yucky for awhile. It sounds like maybe you have seasonal depression, maybe it would be wise to talk with your doctor. Every so often, I head in to the doctor and get some meds to help for a month or so and I ususally feel better. I wish I had better advice for you, but know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I'm hoping Princess will perk me up as well, I LOVE the racing atmophere! Hang in there, friend! This too shall pass and the flowers will be blooming soon! emoticon emoticon
    3732 days ago
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    I'm sorry for what you have been going through. Dr. Oz says that a 20 minute walk is = to 1 Prozac. I believe it because exercise really lifts one's mood and makes you feel well. One exercise that I will stick too and makes me happy is dancing. Zumba classes and my Just Dance 2 game for the Wii make me happy and are helping me shed my pounds...the great thing about it is that you don't even need to know how to dance or be a great dancer to do it.

    When I read the part about the change of weather seem to be a part of you being down it reminds me of my sister. She has seasonal depression and feels lazy and glooming when it gets cold outside. She bought this 100$ happy light that people have in their homes in Alaska due to the lack of sunlight and it seems to be helping. Maybe you should look into that and maybe get outside 10 minutes a day and start moving. I think this will help a lot. Good luck! :::hugs::: emoticon
    3732 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/21/2011 10:12:18 AM
  • TIGGER622
    Laurie, I feel your pain. I have been in an awful way myself lately, considering 'seeing someone' for the first time ever and I dont know how to get any kind of motivation back. If you need to go back on the meds, do it! I am trying to find any kind of project that I can think of to wrap my brain around, but that is not working AT ALL either. So I am with you girl, and I am going to read all your blog comments for ideas myself! Let's stick together please, it is lonely here in the dark corners of the world! Hang in there sweetie!
    3732 days ago
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    My suggestion? Go back through and read your own blog again as if it was someone else's. Read it slowly and really think about what advice you would offer that other person.

    You KNOW what to do. Something. Anything. Walk backwards on the treadmill for five minutes to shake everything up. Find a Zumba video online and dance around in front of the TV like a mad woman. It doesn't matter WHAT you do, just that you do something.

    I struggle with winter depression, too. And I'm lucky in that I live in San Diego, where the sun is still pretty constant. If I was in a colder, darker part of the country, I would really struggle. So I think I understand where you are coming from. But the only way out of this is to walk/run/dance/bounce/hop your way out.

    You can do this. You already know that. Just do something!

    Good luck!

    3732 days ago
    So sorry you're feeling the blahs so much, Laurie! You know I have been there too and it is NO FUN. My husband and I were just talking the other day about how this winter weather is really starting to affect our moods. And his work situation has been touch-and-go the last month or so because there just aren't a lot of construction projects going on in the dead of winter.

    For the running, hopefully the new clothes will help. I haven't done any outdoor winter running this year (mainly because our sidewalks and roads are so sketchy with snow and ice and I don't want an accident!!) so I do everything I can to make the treadmill a positive experience. Even something as simple as mixing up my music selections and taking the pressure off of myself to run at a certain pace is working wonders. My last two runs have been VERY slow by my old standards, but some of the most enjoyable yet!!

    Also, I almost hate to bring this up, but what are you doing for cross training? Are you open to adding in some aerobic exercise that's NOT running, even if it's just a little bit? I have some super cheesy aerobics videos that I do at home, and they're SO cheesy that they put me in a great mood, and it's a pretty decent workout too.

    Hang in there. We are here for you!!
    3732 days ago
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