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I FOUGHT AGAINST MYSELF.....

Sunday, January 23, 2011

my story: by Paula Strasburg

I am not sure where to begin. It will be two years in February that I have been a member of sparkpeople.
Where does the time go?
On joining sparkpeople I weighed 220lbs. I have lost 86 lbs. and am very happy with myself. To much weight for my height of 5'3"...

The first three months I fought against myself on healthy eating and doing excersises. I would read blogs that would say, "I Lost 1 lb." I would leave a positive uplifting comment.
I wanted to change. I kept eating junk food, going to fast food take outs, eating and eating. I would give into the cravings, meantime fighting with myself to do what was good for me.

One day I was so angry with myself, I cleaned out all the cupboards, and draws throwing anything that was unhealthy out. I did this the same day that the garbage was to be picked up.

I thought I had won this time, I didn't. That night I was miserable craving chocolate. I logged onto sparkpeople read a few articles and blogs.
I made a grocery list out, and went grocery shopping trying to stay away from the candy isle.
I couldn't. Slowly I started walking down the candy isle feeling as though the candy was calling out to me, "take me home."

I started to reach out for a bag of hersey kisses, when an inner voice said, "don't do it." I walked away.
For three months the fighting went on with myself. I was eating healthier, and taking walks. When ever I had an urge for that which was not good, I grabbed a piece of fruit or celery a slice of tomato or made a salad.

I then began to realize that my body was changing, my taste for food was changing and the fights against myself were less.
I weighed myself and had lost 10 lbs. Took three months for this to happen.
Slow as Molasses it was. emoticon emoticon

I didn't give up I was determined to keep going on. Then it was a pound here, two pounds or even five. Some weeks there weren't any pounds lost.
I weigh myself once a month now , another 20 lbs. to go.

I fought against myself and won.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • YAMINOKODOMO
    Thats awesome! It is so great to feel that change! I know that feeling so well, in the beginning, trying to say no to things I have been eating on a regular bases. But look at you! 86 pounds, thats amazing!

    Its going to be my two year sparkversary this month too! Woohoo to us sticking with spark and sticking with our new healthy lifestyles!

    Good going lady!
    3636 days ago
  • AMYLOVESTZU
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3642 days ago
  • ALEXSGIRL1
    great blog i fought against myself and won an awesome line.
    3644 days ago
  • MICHELAR
    emoticon blog Paula! emoticon
    3644 days ago
  • DAWNWATERWOMAN
    Congratulations for winning the war with yourself AND for losing so much weight. You're a real success story my friend. Love ya, Dawn emoticon
    3645 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1898454
    emoticon
    Keep up the good work!! It's so hard to ignore those cravings! I have a serious issue with sweets & sugar also, and have found that really the only way I can successfully stay on track with my healthy eating is to avoid it completely. Like an alcoholic. I'll do well for a while, finally get to the place where cookies or candy actually tastes sickening sweet to me, then something will come along that I just can't resist and as soon as I allow myself that one indulgence, it's downhill again and I have to start all over again!!
    emoticon
    3646 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    A very inspireing blog, thanks for sharing. While I was reading this, I know believe that there still is hope for me, I;m trying much harder than the almost past two years I've been on sparks----your blog was just what I needed to read at the present.
    3646 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1951302
    And I think it was God's voice who helped you and He has been walking with you on this journey!
    3646 days ago
  • MORRIS1989
    You won a long time ago when you decided to change your lifestyle. emoticon
    3646 days ago
  • ECHOBLUE1
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3646 days ago
  • NYEPIPHANY2
    That is awesome!
    3646 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.