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Cycles

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It's funny - I know what to do. I know how I feel when I don't do it. It's not just guilt - in fact, guilt plays a very little role these days. If I eat things that don't agree with me (weightwise, healthwise, etc.) I actually end up in pain from rheumatological things, or with a fuzzy brain, or just wanting to sleep, or having a rotten mood.

None of those things are pleasant, needless to say.

So why do it? Why do these triggers happen and this uncontrollable urge to binge or to eat something I know won't make me feel good later?

I may be told on Friday that I'm gluten intolerant. I'm getting the results of tests. I love bread. I love croissants. I love pastry. I love bagels. I love pizza.

I'm a good cook. I know how many gluten-free alternatives there are. I'm not really as sad about this as I might sound. But I am having a few, last favorites.

I had a custard filled donut this morning for breakfast. My usual breakfast is fruit, a little ff greek yogurt, some pomegranate seeds, a TBS of grape nuts and a slice of whole wheat toast with 1 tsp peanut butter or almond butter. Um... that's pretty different.

I budgeted for the donut, and I sat and enjoyed each bite. Those are a rare treat and it's a comfort food from my 20s (I'm 51).

But you know what? It didn't sit well. I WANTED my fruit and yogurt. I didn't feel energized, I felt sluggish.

Hope I can remember this the next siren carbs are calling to me. ;-)
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