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Trying to get motivated to move forward after 3 family losses

Monday, February 07, 2011

I am trying to motivate myself to move forward after having a rough six months. I lost both of my grandmothers in the summer and spent time in ICU and hospice with them until they passed. Then my dad was diagnosed with a very rare disease called Guillain Barre Syndrome. I spend 3 weeks in Oregon with him in ICU. He was on a ventilator for about 4 months and then started doing better. He ended up going to rehabilitation and his heart just stopped at the end of November.. He was only 64.

I'm feeling very stuck and sad still. I've never had to deal with this much grief in such a short period of time, so I'm not sure what I should be feeling or doing. I know I don't like where I'm at right now, but don't know how to move past it.

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  • BUNNIE1999
    oh my goodness, bless your heart! I am so sorry you hav had to endure all this losses in such a brief period of time. Remember take it one step at a time. I loss my grandmother this Oct and it still hasn't set rigth with me yet. So I can only imagine what you are dealing with. Know that your spark buddies are here for reflection, venting, whatever you need.

    Hang in there!! emoticon
    3666 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2948406
    Oh Donna! I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I went through 3 deaths back to back in college - it was great grandparent and two grandparents. Its overwhelming. Dont do what I did - turning to food and alcohal. Do somethign to honor their memory like running a race. Joint a group about grief so you can meet others who are going through what you are. You will ge through this.
    3672 days ago
    I am so sorry you have been having such a hard time! I am very sorry for your losses. The only thing that i can think of that might help you is for you think what they would want for you. They would want you to keep on living and to be as healthy as possible. You need to live for them now right? So just do a little at a time and bit by bit and be happy and healthy for those that are no longer with us and live for THEM. I know what it is like to loose a grandparent as I only have my Dad's dad still with us. My mothers parents died over 15 years ago for my grandfather and 20 for my grandmother, and I lost my Dads mom Nov 2009. So all of mine were spread out a bit. Please just hang in there and if you need to vent know that I am a good listener (reader) so feel free to lean on me.
    3673 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6447544
    Sweetie it is very hard to get motivated with such a lost, take your time and when you get ready, just start slow emoticon
    3673 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9046787
    Losing that many people is soooo hard! I lost my dad December 26, 2010. He had the first seizure that led to the discovery of his brain tumor on December 1, 2010. He was so motivational for me and I know right now he is pushing me to be successful in getting healthy. Hang in there and use their memories to motivate you!
    3673 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9136158
    I went to grief councilling. My husband died suddenly returning from intensive care- I stood there with 2 special needs kids aged 10 and 8 suffering trauma.. The councillor helped put prospective on grief and allowed me heal again.. I miss my people, but now I can accept they needed peace from their illnesses and would never be good again.. I also had to dig down how would they take it if I didn't move on..
    Wouldn't your dad be miserable if he knew your suffering and unable to move on with your life.. What was his wishes for you? My husband told me to find another decent guy to be dad to our kids- he wanted us to be happy.. If we dig deep sometimes we know their wishes, just eat healthy, exercise and dedicate the change to keeping safe in their memories.. This would make family happy we learned stuff from their misfortunes..
    Red emoticon
    3673 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/7/2011 2:57:17 PM
    You have really had a rough patch, I'm sooo sorry for your losses. It is terrible that anyone would have to go through so much so quickly. Make sure you are taking all the time you need for the grieving process. Here's the old cliche, it will get easier, but what people fail to mention is it usually gets harder again, then slowly easier. I lost my dad 1 year 4 months ago. I still have my ups and downs. Just go with them. Do what your heart tells you to do.

    Make a committment to yourself. Tell your significant other, a friend, sparkpeople, tell me what your goal is. What is your goal for yourself for today? tomorrow? Some days you will do it, some days you won't. Don't push yourself too hard, but don't let yourself not push at all. Everyone deals with this at different time intervals and in different ways.

    You can do anything you set your mind to.
    3673 days ago
    Take it one day at a time sweetheart all you can do. I lost a baby(chemical pregnancy) broke up with my fiance nd lost my job all within 10 days. I'm try pull myself back up on my two feet and quit the emotional eating. Hang in there :)
    3673 days ago
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