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Warning: Not a happy blog today

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Not feeling as good today as I was yesterday. I think part of it is the chemo, and part of it is the weather. It's the 3rd day in a row that it has been bitterly cold. I haven't been out since I came home from chemo on Tuesday, not even for the mail. But tomorrow it's supposed to start warming up, so definitely tomorrow I will go out for the mail.

Today I have been so tired, even though I slept enough hours last night. Having some stomach upset and feeling crampy; from my gastroparesis flaring up because of the chemo. Feeling cranky too, and I have to admit, a little sorry for myself too; there have been some tears shed today. I was also thinking about how this has been the 3rd chemo regimen I have been on since April; and the only break I've had from it is that month off I had in August. So I guess I am entitled to have a day to be grumpy. But I am going to try hard to limit my pity party to only this day. Tomorrow, I am determined to wake up with a better attitude.

I am also still mourning the death of my friend Toni; I know that is going to take some time to make peace with that; she hasn't even been gone a month yet. I am still in the anger stage with that, right now I can't over the unfairness of it.

Feeling achy all over today too, probably from the weather. Because of the way I am feeling today, I did not do any kind of workout. But that is ok; I had a good 8 day stretch where I did at least something every day. I will get back into my routine tomorrow.

I do have some things to look forward to that I know will cheer me up. We are supposed to get up to the upper 30's this weekend, so there is a good chance I can get out for walks those days. And on Monday, I am getting together with a group of friends for a Valentine's Day lunch. Tuesday, I might be going to hear a speaker that will be talking about cancer and alternative medicine.
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  • ORACLE2010
    Hey Girl!

    You go ahead and have that grumpy day! You've faced something harder than I've ever had to, and I'm sure I've had grumpier days.

    Grumpy or not, I admire you. I think you're great!
    3393 days ago
  • SAMMIESMOM13
    Just saw this. Today is a new day. I hope you're feeling better. Yes, sometimes we need a day to feel bad and shed some tears. Prayers are with you.
    3393 days ago
  • HJBUMP
    I'm sorry you're not feeling well. And of course you're allowed to have a grumpy day. I have those all the time...even when I shouldn't! It's supposed to get weather by us next week. I sure hope so! My thoughts and prayers are with you...feel better real soon!
    3393 days ago
  • OPALMOON
    Hi Shari,

    It's perfectly okay to be feeling grumpy! With all you have been through it is amazing that you keep up such a positive outlook - and your bravery is such an incredible inspiration. I am sorry to hear you are not feeling well on account of the chemo - it would be hard not to feel cranky. Tears can be a good cleansing thing, and it is only natural to still be working through your emotions with your health issues and Toni's death. A 'day off' from your usual activities here and there is probably a good thing. I sure hope the weather improves enough for you to be able to go outside over the weekend. It is nice to know you have some good things to look forward to, so hopefully all combined these will help to lift your spirits. Take care and go easy on yourself, and have a good night's sleep - and I hope you are feeling better tomorrow!

    emoticon

    Nattacia
    3393 days ago
  • JANETLEE40
    It's ok to be grouchy!!! I think you have that right with all you have been dealing with. I am praying for you that you have a better day tomorrow and an awesome weekend. I truly hope you are feeling better when you read all these comments. I am truly sorry there has been so much pain in your life lately...but like all things ....it will come to past. And on a bright note....Spring is only a 5-6 more weeks away. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • AMYBINTN
    I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight--and that you feel better tomorrow. With all you've been through, it's normal that you would feel frustrated. Hang in there--I'm sending good thoughts your way. emoticon emoticon amy
    3394 days ago
  • ISLANDRITER
    Shari, It still winter, but spring is right around the corner. I had that kind of day yesterday...had been in the house two day with a sinus headache and was teary because of that...geech! So I got into a really good book and it helped some actually. Love you girl...praying for relief from the pain!
    3394 days ago
  • LOVES_ANIMALS
    Well, it is good that this day is almost over! LOL

    I truly hope that tomorrow is better.

    Hugs,

    Sally
    3394 days ago
  • CARRAND
    emoticon I'll be thinking of you.
    3394 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8752472
    Shari,
    I wouldn't call it a pity party at all. What you are doing on a daily basis is hard, the hardest thing a lot of us will ever do so taking some time every now and then to feel sorry for yourself is normal ... it gives you a break and lets you gather more strength. emoticon emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • OUTDOORGIRL75
    Shari.....

    My prayers are there for you.
    3394 days ago
  • MERRY40
    I'm sorry to hear that you were not feeling well today. I'm hoping that you soon feel like your old (young!) self. You have the right attitude, though. Things will turn around for you and it's good that you're looking at the positive -it looks like you have
    some fun things coming up! I will continue to keep you in my prayers. God bless!
    emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • WENWIN
    Guess what??!!
    We all have days when we just want to crawl under a rock and you, my dear, are more than due. Tomorrow is a new day and it is yours to grab. Sometime we wish it were but remember, this is life and Not a dress rehearsal. Lots of prayer to you!
    3394 days ago
  • WENWIN
    Guess what??!!
    We all have days when we just want to crawl under a rock and you, my dear, are more than due. Tomorrow is a new day and it is yours to grab. Sometime we wish it were but remember, this is life and Not a dress rehearsal. Lots of prayer to you!
    3394 days ago
  • WENWIN
    Guess what??!!
    We all have days when we just want to crawl under a rock and you, my dear, are more than due. Tomorrow is a new day and it is yours to grab. Sometime we wish it were but remember, this is life and Not a dress rehearsal. Lots of prayer to you!
    3394 days ago
  • PMCFARM
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Shari, you've had several really rough months...and this one has been particularly bad! Pity parties and grumpy days are ok...how mamy times have you written, "we've earned them!" you're not exempt. Your transparancy about feelings are one measure I use to know I'm ok and I'm sure it's how we all feel.
    MarilynC.
    PS...DH says you haven't lived yet until your chemo gives you multiple personas (as like Snow White & her 7 dwarfs), mine are whimpy, whiney, weepy, b****y, witchy, dumpy, frumpy, & grumpy..
    from day21-day28 DH disappears!!! LOL emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • NURSNANA
    Shari, Sorry you are not feeling well today. We all have pity parties sometimes. Sounds like the warmer weather and your plans for next week should lift your spirits! We are all here for you Shari, and we all care about how you are feeling. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you my friend.
    ~hugs~
    Nancy

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    span> emoticon
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • SUNNYBUNNY112
    emoticon Chococat LOVES you!
    3394 days ago
  • ELLFIN3
    emoticon Believe me you are do a pity party! You are so upbeat all time and look on the bright side! It is impossible to go through what you are going though and stay positive and happy all time! I hope you get to hear the speaker, especially on alternative medicine! I hope tomorrow dawns better for you! Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • DCOREY33
    hugs*** I think you deserve a pitty party day & to be cranky.
    Sorry for the loss of your friend. I have had 5 friends pass in past 6 months. It is never easy even if it is expected. You still feel the loss, but you know she is no longer suffering so that is a good thing.

    I hope you are feeling better tomorrow. I can not even imagine how you must feel after 3 rounds. I admire your strength.
    3394 days ago
  • BECKY3128
    You are SO entitled to a grumpy day! You're human after all! The temperature changing is definitely something to look forward to, same with the brunch and your Tuesday plans. I know things will start looking up for you, you're such a wonderful inspiration! emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8603687
    You are entitled to be grumpy when you aren't feeling better,get it out and feel better tomorrow and sounds like a fun plan for Valentines Day,something to look forward too.The weather getting warming will hopefully help some and lift your spirits.I am sorry about Toni,my deepest heartfelt sympathy for you and in time may you have peace and it is unfair and your feelings are normal and I feel the same way about it.Take Care of YOUrself my friend. emoticon emoticon Diana emoticon
    3394 days ago
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