I recently read a blog of one of our members on SP and it was about fear. Which got me thinking about the fears that I have and that I need to overcome. One big fear that I have developed over the last two years is fear of driving on interstates including I-95. I have not been on I-64 in our area for over 2 years. I truly do not know why, I have asked myself could it be the fact that I now drive a van and before I drove a very small car. Makes me think I need to go back to a smaller car. My reason of course for buying a van was so that I could just slide into the seat. With my knee issues I cannot travel in small cars as it is very difficult for me to get out. When I get my 2nd knee replacement this should improve for me.
I guess that after reading the other member's blog I began to think about the last time I went away about two weeks ago. I had to go to my cousin's funeral and instead of travelling on very busy roads and I-95 I drove to NJ on a road I am very familiar with and took a ferry to get to NJ and stay overnight at which then I got up in the morning and I drove to Aston PA outside of Philadelphia where my cousin's house is on a road that I was very familiar with and I was able to stop when I needed too but it took about 1 1/2 hours which was not long and then after the funeral I drove back to NJ to visit a dear friend of mine for 2 days and continued on home the way I came to NJ. This was all done to give me piece of mind.
I know it sounds ridiculous.......I do not like having this fear and really need to work on this.
I have always felt that we are able to overcome our fears and I have been pretty good at overcoming my fears in the past but this one has me stumped. There is the issue of my needing to stop and walk around because of a clot problem about 5 months ago and drink
frequently. Of course I am not going to stop on an interstate nor do I want to get off an exit and hunt for a place to use the restroom so this of course justifies my taking the roads I am comfortable with at this point in time.
I am a very postive person and believe in hope every day of my life so I need to work on this
"disability" soon. I do not like having this fear. I am working on changing my lifestyle as far as my eating habits and increasing my exercise so that I can remain healthy in my coming years. I am convinced that walking and exercise is the way to a healthy life.
To be honest I just started writing this afternoon and this ends up turning into a blog.
I am going to set myself short goals just as I have with my weight loss journey. If it means getting on I-64 and getting off the next exit then so be it. When I think about it from a logical point of view it seems crazy let alone silly, I have always driven on these highways.
I know that I have made up my mind to work on this issue, I cannot spend the rest of my life driving on back roads. So, I ask God to help me with this and as I make every attempt to move on. Isn't it amazing when we finally start to do something about our issues whatever they be, weight loss, going back to school, being afraid of spiders or highways, we become a better person and at the same time learn so much about ourselves. Sparkers enjoy your Sunday and don't forget to turn the clock ahead when you go to bed. A big THANK YOU to my Spark friends who support me every day.