Feels good to be back!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I am back!! I know it's been a while, but I am back and I'm STAYING this time. Both my daughter and my son are helping me to stay on track. Well, my husband is helping me as well.
My oldest daughter just bought the Insanity workout DVD's. I have only been doing it for 3 days now, today makes 4 days. I feel so great!! I have more energy all ready. It makes a big difference when you have someone who is here to help you do it. I love my family!!
Now I am going on to something that's way off this subject. I just want to catch you all up to date on what's been going on in my life.
As some of you know, my 17 year old (now 18 year old) found out she was pregnant back in January. At the time I was not happy about it. Well, I got over it pretty quick. I was actually getting excited. My 2nd grandbaby!! At 8 weeks she had an ultrasound. Baby looked great. It was so awesome to see that little tiny baby.
Well, I have some bad news about that. Three weeks ago, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her stomach was hurting. Doctor said she probably pulled a muscle. That same week, we went to her doctor. He checked her, and said, no, she her belly is stretching and everything looks fine. She was 10 weeks at the time. Doctor said it was still a little to early to hear the baby's heart beat.
Well, last week, (March 8th) my daughter was 12 weeks pregnant. She started bleeding. Just a little, when she wiped. I took her to the ER, and by the time she was seen, she had quit bleeding. They did an ultrasound. And no heartbeat. We were devistated. We came home around 5 a.m. My daughter did not bleed that whole day. (March 9th now). Her doctor wanted to see her a week later. I did not want her to pass this baby here at home. So, that next morning, I was going to call the doctor (March 10) and demand him to see her that day. Well, at 4:30 a.m. my daughter came into my room and just cried and cried. She said she passed it. All I could do was hold her and cry with her. She went into the living room to lay down around 7 a.m. I fell asleep then.
Well, just before 8 a.m. she came into my room and hurting pretty bad. I don't know alot about miscarriages so, I told her just to lay beside me. She kept moaning and moaning and tossing and turning. I was laying there thinking, this sounds like it's labor pains. How can this be, when she already passed it?? So, I told her I was going to jump in the shower, then take her to the Doctors. So, I woke my oldest one up to go lay by my other daughter and keep an eye on her.
As I was in the shower, my oldest daughter started screaming. She came running into the bathroom screaming saying, Momma she's bleeding bad. It's running down her leg. I told my oldest one to leave and go get my truck from her daddy's work, so I can take her to the hospital. As she was gone, My other daughter came into the bathroom a little calm and tried to use the bathroom. I was getting out of the shower, and she started screaming saying...Ohhh momma, I didn't pass what I thought I passed this morning. It's in my underwear. I told her let me see, to make sure. Well, there was the baby. You can see the arms and legs and head, eyes and everything. Baby still had the tail. My daughter started going hysterical. I called my husband and told him to come home. I didn't know if I would be able to get it away from her. She said, no she wanted to show her sister. She said don't worry about taking me to the doctor, because I'm not hurting anymore. So, it definately was labor pains. All she kept saying was...I went through labor and even pushed my baby out and can't keep it.
Well, her sister came home, and I had to run to the store. I had no more pads for her. When I came home, they both were in the bathroom, just crying and crying. She had asked my oldest daughter if she wanted to see. She said..."First, before I show you, I just want to say. Be thankful for your child, because this is my child". My oldest one started crying. It was so sad.
She came out of the bathroom, with her pants and everything, and asked me, what do I do with this?. I said you will have to throw it in the garbage. She said she will go outside and throw it in the dumpster. Pants and all. She came back in just sobbing and saying, I had to throw my baby in the dumpster. I went through labor, and pushing and everything and had to throw my baby away. Ohhhh man, I just cried and cried. I called the doctor, and he said to bring her on in.
He says what happened was, for the first 8 to 10 weeks, the baby feeds off of a yoke. Then your hormones will take over. My daughter's never did. He said that in the future, if she was to get pregnant again, he will put her on some kind of hormone so that she doesn't go through this again.
This really has taken a toll on us all. Everytime I happen to see one of my grandson's old baby spoon, I would start crying. Then I would think....If I am getting this upset over a baby spoon, how does she feel?? Then I'd cry even more. It is so sad.
I was really torn. On the same day as we found out there was no heartbeat, my oldest daughter got engaged. This happened a few hours before we found out about the heartbeat. Her fiance proposed to her infront of her dad and I. It was so sweet and romantic. I was just overjoyed. Then a few hours later, just so sad.
Here I am a parent of 2 girls. My oldest daughter it was the best day of her life, (other than having my grandson) and the worst day of my other daughter's life. How was I to handle this? My oldest understood that I can't be happy for her, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes, when she got to talking about it, and I wasn't really paying attention.
Well, she set the date to be married March 10, 2012. I told her about the dates. March 10th was when my other daughter passed her baby. My daughter said, but I really want this date though. But if it's going to bother her, I will change it. I told her, not to change it just yet. Maybe she will be ok with it as time gets closer.
My daughter is physically stronger. She's healing up pretty good. But emotionally, she's not where I'd like her to be. She is getting stronger. So, as each day passes by, it's getting easier to deal with. It's only been a week. But it's been a LONG week.
Please keep my daughter in your prayers. She is going through a rough time. She will get through this, it's just going to take time.
Thank you everyone for listening.
May God bless each and every one of you.