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#471: One Picture and a Week of Doubt

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Since last September 16th I have lost 45 pounds, down from a high of 290.4 to 245.4 through last Friday. I know I have done well but I thought I was finally looking slim and trim.

Until this past Sunday when I saw a photo of me taken with a couple of friends.

I was embarrassed at how I looked and doubt began creeping into my thinking. Had I really made progress? Was I actually down six pant sizes. Was I using a smaller belt? Didn't the scale show the pounds lost?

Yes, yes, yes and yes. But still...

I continue to believe I will reach my intermediate goal of 226, only 19 more to go, for a loss of 64 pounds -- four bowling balls -- and my ultimate goal of 200 by year's end. A couple of weeks have shown small gains of 2/10 and 4/10 of a pound but all other weeks have posted a loss of up to 8.2 pounds, usually 1-3 a week.

So why the doubt? That I don't understand. Why can't we enjoy our progress, knowing we are a work in the making? Each of the past two weeks people have complimented me on the loss. So why is one picture taking away some of the confidence in the progress I've made?

That may be a question for a therapist one day but deep inside I can feel my bedrock of positivity telling my Doubting Thomas to take a hike. When I look at the September picture the loss becomes significantly apparent.

I feel as if Mr. DT will be with me until Friday's weigh-in but I will not allow his negativity to detour me from ongoing success.

Neither should you when something happens to shake your confidence in yourself. Acknowledge the doubt, but then constantly remind yourself of the progress you have made, be it 5 pounds or 100. Stay firm in your believe you will ultimately reach your goal, one pound at a time.

As for our Doubting Thomas -- just start singing the song played at basketball games -- "Na na na na, hey, hey, hey, good bye." And good riddance.

I CAN and WILL do this and so will you.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are doing great! Do not be hard on yourself. None of us are perfect. Think positive thoughts.

    3627 days ago
    Way to stave off the negativity! When something like this happens to me, I see it as a reason to not get complacent in my progress and to spur me on to pursue my goal! Keep up the great work and know the goal is that much closer!
    emoticon Sue
    3629 days ago
    Great post!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3630 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8301081
    You are doing great. I think we all have those moments. Remember how hard you are working.
    3631 days ago
    Keep on kicking DT to the curb. You are making progress. We all need to remember that this takes time ... and people don't always notice or pictures don't always show all the changes that are going on in our heads and on our bodies. Keep it up! You CAN do this!
    3631 days ago
  • BIGDAD1211
    You are doing awesome Lou! Kick DT to the curb and keep on trucking!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3631 days ago
    I love the choice of songs!! Believe in you. You are capable and wise and brilliant and tenderhearted. I would certainly trust you with anything important to me. You can trust you, too!
    3631 days ago
  • TEMPEST272002
    Boy do I relate to this one. Like a lot of obese people, I have a big disconnect between brain & body. It's something I'm actively working on. I think it's strange that I can know, in my mind, my weight & measurements... but ask me to place myself in a line up of biggest to smallest & I seriously would have no idea where I belonged.

    There was a point where I seriously questioned whether all of the effort was worth it... and then I did a before/after comparison with a "real age" calculator... and was stunned at what a difference the changes had made to my health & life expectancy (29 extra years as of my sparkversary!). Next time you have one of these moments, I highly recommend do it for yourself.

    I'm glad that you went back to a picture of yourself at 290lbs to compare this one to. Smart thinking, guy. I have no doubt that you have the determination & ability to meet your goals. You HAVE come a long way in a very short time.

    3631 days ago
  • BOVEY63
    I know just what you mean - I can see the difference in the clothes I'm wearing and how much more energy I have, yet that darn DT pops up with nearly every picture I see of myself.

    I'm with you, let's kick DT to the curb and down the sewer!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3631 days ago
    Good blog, Lou... I felt so happy coming in to work this a.m. because my pants just kept slipping downward, and I thought smugly, "Ha! My size 10's are getting baggy!" Then, when I saw the actual size on the tag, MY DT shouted out gleefully to me that they were not the pants I thought they were, but my size 14's after all, and really should be even baggier! emoticon

    No, I'm just going to keep pulling my baggy pants up today and remember the day when even THEY were tight! emoticon

    emoticon Thanks for the pep talk! emoticon
    3631 days ago
    Same thing happened to me in Sept. I was at a bridal shower, a coworker brought in the pics...oh my god. My heart sank, Here I thought I looked good, then the pic showed the same ole me. Well lou guess what? My family came for a visit two weeks ago, we had other pics.....I was thin. I had to look twice to believe that was me. So don't fret your going to see the new pic and soon. You won't believe your eyes.
    3631 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6400103
    oh lou i so can relate...
    my scale told me this morning a gain of 2 lbs ..
    I changed my kcal intake as SP told me to.
    According to SP i am burning more kcal so i need to eat more.
    Well i think that was not a good thing LOL....

    3631 days ago
    You will continue on!
    I had a bad four days at a nascar race. I ate like a piglet.
    When I got home, I thought oh geee; I am a loser.... I felt the huge
    conflict of continutng on or quitting. (and this after losing 35 pounds!).
    I chose to refocus.
    It is a constant struggle. You will prevail!
    3631 days ago
    Lou, I can give you some ideas. These are things I say to myself when I don't like how I look in a picture.

    1. Bad shot
    2. Bad outfit
    3. Bloated that day-water retention
    4. Wrong angle
    5. Bad Crop
    6. Bad Lighting
    7. Bad hair day
    8. The person next to me is too thin

    Get the picture? Out doubt, In Defense Mechanisms emoticon
    3631 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    You are doing great. Don't dwell on the negative.

    In my book you have lost 4 bowling balls, because I use an 11 pound. See, it's all how you look at it.

    3631 days ago
  • no profile photo MARYLQ11
    emoticon emoticon
    3631 days ago
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