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Driving without Tires

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

If I could have one wish - skies the limit - anything - I would wish for a way to express, simply, to anyone who asks, how I'm losing the weight.

Here's the rub. Here's why its an impossible wish. Because its not the telling, its the receiving that matters. The person who is asking has to be ready to hear it.

I know this because I've been on the receiving end my whole life. I'm smart enough to know what I need to lose weight, but I haven't been emotionally ready to hear it.

Until now.

My doctor has told me, people on TV have told me, magazine articles have told, my friend has told me - you know the one that everybody has that's skinny, smart and says "All you gotta' do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in" - and all the weight loss places I've gone to have told me, but I wasn't ready to hear it.

So maybe my wish would be to be able to express how I'm losing the weight so that people who need to, can hear it. In their heart.

I can't have that wish. But maybe, just maybe I can help someone get one step closer to hearing it in their heart.

How am I losing the weight?
How do I know this time I am going to make it?

Its no miracle, but actually its a huge miracle. I stripped myself down of everything that hasn't worked. I did this by first admitting I suck at trying to lose weight. Anything else you suck at - you either get fired or admit you suck. But for some reason I sucked at dieting for years and kept on trying it the sucky way.

So first, I admitted to myself I sucked at dieting.

Second, I did what worked for other people. No matter how much I didn't want to try it or didn't think it would work, I did it. Not all at once but a little at a time. I started small and worked my way up. I'm still working my way up.

Third and most important, I thought hard about my journey.

I walked every day and used the time to think. Think about me. Think about why I suck at dieting, why I don't allow myself to succeed, why I give up.

Everyone's reasons are different, the important thing is to think, to understand, and be open to change.

Me, I needed to feel worth it or I wasn't going to make it. I needed to put it above stress, fear, friends, family, job. It doesn't mean quitting your job to save your diet. It means loving yourself more than the donuts in the lunchroom. It means being able eventually to laugh at those donuts because you used to actually want them.

Think, understand, change. Change until you love yourself.

If its hard at first (and it will be) fake loving yourself until it starts to kick in. Because it will kick in, and its worth how ridiculous you feel faking it.

You must love yourself.

Counting calories without loving yourself is like driving a car without tires. You can do it but its pretty self destructive.

If you can get there, I promise you'll find your own best friend in yourself. You'll find strength and humor you didn't know you had. Hard work will be more gratifying because you'll be less apt to give in or give up. You will fight through the rough patches. You will make it.

You can do this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FUSCHIA6
    I had heard & told myself "I can't" for so long, that I really believed it. Other people could, but not me. In principle, one can, but not me. It's taking a lot of work to undo those negative self beliefs, but working at it I am! And it is working. I could not have done it without SparkPeople to teach me something different. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3605 days ago
  • FORGODNTRAVIS
    This is so very awesome!! Just your words, are like Oooooohhh My Gosh, she gets it too!! I never thought that was something that other people actually thought or understood, but know now, that it is!! I'm just completely inspired, and blown away by your blog post!! Awesome, Awesome, Awesome!!!

    Hugs!!!
    3610 days ago
  • NATURALLYJJ
    Awesome blog! It is so true that you cannot do it until you are ready to lay it all on the line, not only the physical part of it, but the emotional.
    3616 days ago
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