So its been awhile
Thursday, April 14, 2011
I have fallen off the wagon big time. I havent been back to sparkpeople in over a year. In this year I have gained over 40lbs of weight. This cycle needs to stop. As I have battled my inner demons with depression its seems like food has taken over my life. Food is what I am using to cope with life. If I am happy, mad, sad I eat. I dont eat to fill up my growling stomach, I eat to fill the hole I feel inside of me. The hole I believe is inside me that everyone else can see. That everyone else can see right through me. As I sit here at my job on the computer staring at my coke and chips and wonder to myself will it ever get better. I have accomplished many things in my life. I was the first in my family to graduate both high school and college. I am an recovering alcoholic in AA and working the steps plus I have and continue to overcome my self mutiliation issues. Now why cant I stop eating?? Food is my enemy buts its also my friend, my family. It doesnt abuse me, leave me, or make fun of me. It accepts me for me.