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Starting over...again...again
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

This week has been a ginormous struggle. I don't know why I am struggling so much with stress when I know that I've dealt with more in the past. I look back when I first started college and was a pregnant, single mom of a 3 year old! I was working part time at walmart and going to college full time! I am still very proud of what I was able to accomplish, yet I am finding so much more stress now even though I am not pregnant (thank GOD!) and I am not working. I am so tired of starting over and starting over and starting over with my weight loss. I was so afraid to get on the scale yesterday and when I did, I was mortified. I've gained everything back that I lost last year plus about 10 pounds. I look back and just want to cry. This time last year, I was so motivated and excited and full of energy! Now it feels like I just have nothing left! I don't even feel like I'm fighting against food, I'm fighting against myself! The fight in my mind between believing I can do it because I've done it before and just wanting to give up because it's just so damn hard! Where did my motivation go? How do I get it back? I sit here day after day wondering how I got where I am...how did I slip so far, so fast? It's terrifying. So here we go again. Pick myself back up, and try again.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NINEWESTGIRL
    We never know how strong we are until we're put in hot water (there is a saying that says it better than I did- oh well!) but its true. We all deal with something that holds us back EVERY time from reaching our goals- in the past my hang ups were : Myself, my 'friends', Men, social life,stress (the list can go on and on and on and on) I've now decided for my health, MY happiness, MY MY MY MY I've decided that those things don't matter to much as I matter to me. Men can ...well you know what they can do to themselves ;) My social life is great surrounding myself with active people is much more fun than drinking/being lazy and eating out ALL the time- and stress? Ha! I've got the best stress reduction ever. Train for a 5k (lol) Keep your chin up, this will pass!! Walk a mile, learn to meditate- Breathe

    we are allllllll here for you!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3567 days ago
  • KAYWEB555
    Sara, big steps always start out as small little crawlings! Most times when we slip back to the begining we don't see it happening. You dear have taken another step, small yes, in the right direction, Yes! Now lean on your support leg. The people that you have come to know at SP! Reach out to them all, for you never know which one will be the rock that you will use to start building this journey on.
    Every thing we do, takes some form of time. This isn't a race! It is a beginning of another stage in which you are entering, looking for the positive is so very hard when you are feeling so blue, so as with everything start small.
    Come to the site and log in! Huddle, look for a positive articel to read on the Motivation site. Talk with some sparkers or not! don't push the weight lose right now if it is that much of a stressor! I didn't, I came back and logged into Sudoku Team and they had a 21-day challenge that you made yourself! I debated it for 7 days and then started my 21 day challenge to just come to the Sudoku Team and log in. And believe me as simple as that sounds, Judy can tell you that I'd just make it some nights. Loging in at 11:30pm!
    Set your own needs, but right now don't make it a weight issue! Find something fun on the site and make that your goal to do for the next 21 days! Let some one know what it will be so that we can encourage you along the way !
    You are loved, missed and encouraged to bring your inspriation back to the SPTeams ! Bless You, Karen emoticon
    You are not in this journey alone, emoticon turn around we are all right here with you ! emoticon
    3567 days ago
  • FREES1
    Welcome back!!! Hang in there - you obviously think its worth it or you wouldn't be back. I've missed you!
    Not to worry - you'll get into the swing of it again.. and know you are not the first to be in the situation in which you find yourself.. and others have made the comeback just as you will.

    Glad to see you back with the Spark!
    3567 days ago
  • JURI62
    I can feel your pain! And admire your courage!
    Lets stickj with the winners on Spark!
    3567 days ago
  • CUDDLEY51
    Your determination and positive attitude is the first step in getting back on track and believe me I've been where you are!

    I find motivation blogs are really helpful.

    Connect with other Sparkers who fit into your gender, status, lifestyle, dreams!

    If you have a bad day, remember it was just a day, don't use it as an excuse to fall off the wagon.

    Remember you have children who will live by your examples...you don't want them to go through what you are going through!!

    emoticon BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!

    emoticon
    3567 days ago
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