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Can I have support here Please?

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Why is it sometimes family is not the most supportive people? They love you. They want you around forever. When they see you working so hard toward a goal, they still sabotage you.
I am a grown woman who is in control of every morsel of food that I inhale in my body. So the following story is just me venting about how much temptation until something snapped inside of me.
I started tracking all of my food 2 weeks ago. I know that when I track I stay within my calorie range or close to it. Sometimes a little low or high, but averaging in my range. In the past two weeks I have had two huge cheese cakes in my fridge and an apple pie on my counter. 9 days it sat in my fridge or on my counter. Apple pie hit the rubbish. Cheese cakes sent to my husbands high school students. The 380 calorie a slice looked better on their hips than mine.
2 batches of chocolate brownies have been made in this house. I have eaten none of them. not even a mouse size crumb. My daughter brought home Reese eggs. They have been on the coffee table for 8 days. I picked one up read 170 calories and threw them in the freezer. You know, you pull the finger out of the dike wall and .... The easter basket was brought out and the thought that there might be one black jelly bean in it drove me to the table. I had opened plastic eggs looking for them. I ate 4 small jelly beans. I could not find black. Oh, one little tiny reese peanut butter cup. What are these? little foil wrapped cadbury shaped eggs with crunch in them. Thin like a chocolate coin. I ate 2. I picked up the basket and sat on the couch and ate my little snack. Then.... a wave of guilt followed. Gosh darn it. This stuff has been in the house for weeks and I have not been tempted at all. My goodness. I took the nasty basket and put it in my daughters room. The moment of pleasure was replaced by an hour of guilt. A 307 calorie binge that left me not feeling satisfied. I would have preferred the fresh strawberries in my fridge or a crunchy apple with a cup of mango green tea.
My husband has been fantastic. He knows I want to do this tri and he is very supportive.
My daughters, not so supportive. Thank God for Spark friends that get it.
I am really proud of myself for putting that basket away before it was a real disaster. That little bit of candy added up to a lot of empty calories. I do not mind treating myself once in a while, but on my terms, not the result of a binge. I like planning a treat and savoring it. Can you stop once you pull your finger out of the dam or do you just keep eating and then say, "tomorrow is another day?"

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I believe in you regardless. Jean, you're doing awesome!
    3631 days ago
    Wow so proud of you!!!! Way to go emoticon
    3631 days ago
    It's not the tiny backslides that do us in - it's the giving up afterwards. And you didn't! Yay!
    3632 days ago
  • SUZANNE0606
    Good for you!!! I have to stay completely away from that stuff. If I start eating it, then I won't be able to stop. I'm so proud of you for not giving into those temptations!
    3632 days ago
    Jeanne, for me I dont see it as a backslide or a mistake. I see it as what it was - eating 307 calories that at the moment you craved and enjoyed. You had ample opportunity to make this 307 calorie treat into thousands of calories because of what surrounded you for many days, but you didn't. You didn't feel the need at the time to indulge in any of those, but this time you did - so what!!! You logged it, you accepted it, you talked about it, you add it into your life for the day. Remember what you always told me, you are living. We will enjoy certain treats and we will not feel guilty over them, because if we do we'll get no where. You are doing great.
    3633 days ago
  • MOMS100
    You're doing great! A little backsliding every now and then isn't the end. You picked yourself up & got on with it! Congratulations on not giving up!! emoticon
    3633 days ago
    Hang in there Jeanne. Keep your eye on your goals. You can do it!
    3633 days ago
  • ERIN1022
    I think you did a GREAT job of stopping yourself in the moment and not getting carried away. And yeah, you probably didn't need that candy, but you recognized the mistake and got rid of the temptation, which is far more than what I am doing these days. I am sorry your daughters aren't more supportive. Stay strong. You are doing an awesome job! emoticon
    3633 days ago
    Great blog! And excellent self-control! emoticon I just had to have a talk with my whole family b/c none of them want me to diet. They hate it when I diet and they want to keep me this way---soft and squishy and baking a cake for them in the kitchen! To them, that's what a mom and wife should be. My husband thinks skinny wives are awful cooks and have hungry husbands, lol. They say, "You're NOT FAT! We love you just the way you are!" But, HELLO! Mom is 5 feet tall and over 200 pounds! Mom is FAT! emoticon They mean well, they just don't understand. I think it's a fine line that our family members have to walk, between loving us as we are --- and feeling like their unhappy with us and wanting us to change. They love us, so they don't want us to change and they don't want us to think they're unhappy with us just as we are. It's tough.

    But you did a great job in resisting all that! For me, a planned treat can work out if well thought out. But just giving in to temptation results in loss of will power and resolve for days! And it's hard to get back. So I have to plan a "mindful cheat" if the occasion is special enough to warrant it---and if I'm feeling strong enough to withstand it.

    3633 days ago
    If you were caught speeding the first thing in the morning, would you decide you might as well speed the rest of the day? I think not. You put the basket away, You took control. You can't go back and change that moment, but you have control over the next moment and you took it. Venting here also helps. Keep up the great work. I have gotten to the point where I love tracking my food. It helps me so much to stay on track. It is possible. With a 1 2 blip when I broke my leg... which I lost in about three months, I have maintained my healthy weight for almost 6 years.
    3633 days ago
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