4:30 am and cannot sleep.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I hate these days because I will be tired all day and not function well. I have some complicated research for my book to sort out and will have to put it off another day or two so I don’t screw it up.
My wife asked why I seem angry so much yesterday, I guess she does not understand the frustration I am having with my body failing me. It is getting difficult to climb stairs because my other knee is causing problems. I take a lot of medications daily to deal with all of my medical issues, diabetes being the biggest problem. I have little energy and did not expect my retirement years to be so restrictive.
Then add the rising cost of living on a fixed income. We have little funds to allow us to go and do something fun or entertaining. Spending time doing a puzzle or watching TV is our highlight. Even a simple movie at the theater is a 100 mile round trip since we live so rural. It is easier in the summer when she has her seasonal job on the lake, but that just offsets the winter months when I struggle to meet the monthly bills so we can live in a small but nice house.
We also have a house guest, her 30 yr old son, who came to stay a weekend or two a couple of months ago and is now here four nights a week. I have to clean up after him, little things, but still, we should not be babysitting an adult child with no solid plans. We have been helping him out in one way or another since I moved here and now we get to field his creditor’s phone calls frequently. I learned how to handle credit a in the 70’s when my then wife put us way in credit card debt with irresponsible spending and have learned to live within my means ever since, which is why we cannot go have much fun.