Pity Party Blog I: Not Well Suited For...
Thursday, June 02, 2011
**Warning: This blog contains the expression of frustration on the part of the blogger. If you are someone who responds to any expression of frustration or "negative" emotion by...
- using the term "pity party" (or some other such emotion-is-bad phrase)
- trying to get the person to realize that they shouldn't be frustrated
- using over-used deflections like "don't beat yourself up", "tomorrow is another day", or "just move on"...
then please either don't read or read and don't comment**
My vacation overall was good. It really was. I got to see my friends and their family in their new home. Their oldest child is growing up so fast. I overate, but had healthy snacks on hand. Given how little I ate out except for the traveling days, I still may actually lose weight this week.
There were two moments involving my weight and health that stuck out (one good and one bad).
The first night the family was hanging around outside playing. They live on a cul de sac with three houses facing a nice rounded end of the street (safe play area for ball and bike). the youngest is "getting into soccer". Basically, he kicks the ball and the adult playing with him kicks it back toward him. Both parties have to chase the ball as needed.
After about 10-15 minutes of this I realized that I was:
* enjoying the light exercise of chasing the ball
* not winded
* not feeling any knee pain.
I would have been 1 for 3 at best when I first started SparkPeople. For all I have read about some of my SparkFriends' goals of wanting to play with/keep up with their children or nieces/nephews, I finally get it. It felt gr8, a nsv!
and then (cue other shoe to drop)......
First thing the next morning (shoe drops), mommy proposes going to the swimming pool (crowd goes nuts)!
"You did bring swimming trunks, right?"
"Oh, well you can probably borrow..."
It was bad enough having to sit the two of them down 10 minutes later and explain/admit to them, "No, I really don't want to be seen in public wearing a pair of swimming trunks". But the looks on the childrens' faces followed by the long drawn out" whyyyyyyyyyy" when their parents had to break the news that "Mr. Trent" wouldn't, in fact, be coming with them...............yeah, not exactly a high point in my life.
D*rn it, the whole point of losing the now over 50 pounds was so that I WOULDN'T hate the way I looked. I'm almost 195. I'm supposed to be enjoying FREEDOM to NOT still feeling like the stinking fat kid (yes, even @ the swimming pool)
And isn't this supposed to be something that guys aren't supposed to worry about!? Ugh.
What good is being the Hottest Loser.....if he's not even hot enough to wear a swimsuit at the swimming pool!!??
Don't get me wrong, I really like the way I look in jeans and t-shirt. I am very healthy and am enjoying the benefits of better health. This just kind of pushed the limit and broke me, I guess.
(end of rant)
As I drove to the gym, after they left for the pool, I made a vow to myself. Next year is rematch. If I don't go back and visit them and go to the pool with them, I will plan to go to a beach. And yes, by Jove (whoever Jove is), I will have the body to wear a swimsuit.....
...and I will.
- TD Out.
p.s. For those of you who are wondering what my THL exercise goals are going to revolve around motivation-wise, consider this a spoiler-alert.
p.s.s. Who is Jove anyway? Never figured that one out. If I find him/her on SP, I'll friend them.