But Do I Really Feel the Way I Feel
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I’ve been ramping up my aerobic exercise the last two weeks, and it feels really good. I’ve been toying with walking…or jogging…or running (or some combination) a 5K in October. It’s a long way off, but as I discussed in earlier blogs, this year I have to focus on my career, which means that while regular workouts are a part of my healthy lifestyle, major new fitness accomplishments are not. I wanted a baseline for whether I COULD walk a 5K so on Monday night, I got on the treadmill, set the incline to “1” and started walking. At around 2.2 miles, the stupid machine reset itself. There was a time in my life when I would have taken that as a sign that I could stop, but this time, I just restarted the darn thing and kept going. Due to the mix-up and to the time re-setting, I have no idea how far I actually walked or how long it took, but I did go more than a mile after the re-set, so I definitely got in at least the 5K. I felt good. I felt like I could have pushed myself harder and gone faster, but that wasn’t the point of this exercise. The point was to prove to myself that I am ready to do a 5K now, even if I’m not very fast. And, I can. In fact, the next night I walked 2.9 miles at between a 3.5 and 5% incline just to get a feel for hills.
So, that changes my approach. I am not pushing myself to do something new. I’m looking for the kind of incremental successes that make me better at something. October is a long way off, and challenging myself to improve my walking pace may lead to some jogging or it may not, but it definitely makes sense to participate. My big exam for work is the end of October, making this one of the busiest months of my life. I waffle as to whether setting a fitness goal for myself allows me to do something to boost my confidence and feel good about myself, or whether it’s just unnecessary pressure at a high pressure time.
Knowing that I can already walk a 5K, even slowly, makes me lean toward the former. A confidence boost two weeks before the exam wouldn’t suck. I feel like I need to make a decision soon because the cost of the 5K steadily climbs starting in a couple of weeks.
I don’t know why I’m so reluctant to commit to this.