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Pop....goes my balloon.....

Thursday, July 07, 2011

I'm having a little pitty party today.....and feeling kind of blue.

Yesterday I got an email with my photos that were taken during the 10K road race that I ran on Monday.....and that's when it all started....

I have been feeling good about things. I have been eating well, exercising well, even ST, which is something I didn't do until this year....and watching the numbers on the scale decrease week after week. I have managed to lose the weight I had put on during my little revolt back in April/May, and my jeans fit again....I was feeling good.....and thought I was looking good too.

Then that email arrived.....and POP......guess what - I still don't look good. All I saw were the thick thighs, the thick upper arms, and some of the pictures were snapped at all the wrong time, so every ounce of jiggle was noticable in my thighs.

I wish I could share them - but they have them copyrighted, so I can't.....

So now I am so bummed. I am not going to stop - and I didn't dive into the half gallon of ice cream in the fridge....I'm not giving up....

I am just sad to see how far I have left to go. I thought I had some definition in my shoulders - I don't see it in those pictures...I thought the thighs were getting better......

I do feel like crawling up and taking a nap - I'm just kind of defeated feeling...... but it's only a temporary set back...I will keep pluggin away - and try to increase my miles.....maybe increase the ST a little (that's hard to work in) and try to eat a little better.....

The scale is doing the right hting - so maybe by the time I have a picture taken at the Labor Day road race I won't feel so defeated......maybe I'll see what I want to see.

the good news is I don't see the 218 pound lady ---- just not seeing what I want......
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CARLA-216
    I'm sorry you didn't like how you looked in your pictures. I bet you don't look *nearly* as bad as you think. But I was so glad to read (and LOVE) the last sentence in your blog. That means SO MUCH!

    And yeah, I know the feeling of not seeing the progress in the photos. I remember taking progress pics last year sometime, in the fall maybe, and feeling like I was a big ol' fraud.
    3528 days ago
  • RUNNER4LIFE08
    I think pictures add weight sometimes. Because I could be feeling really great and "think" I look good but after snapping a photo I go, "ugh...".

    A good running picture is hard to come by so don't feel so bad. I am sure they didn't look half as bad as you are saying. We are our worst critic!

    emoticon
    3528 days ago
  • THEHONESTME
    LOL at Christina and her pukey face! LMAO!!
    Not sure if you saw a blog I put up about a week or so ago and then deleted a few hours later. The subject was almost identical. I had seen pics of myself and I was appalled at how I looked - I truly thought I looked better than what I was seeing in the pictures. I was convinced by fellow sparkers that it has a lot to do with angles and just the fact that the camera adds 10 pounds, etc. In the end, I decided I was whining (it had been a week and I was still going on about it) and so I gave it a rest and got back on track.
    Don't let this derail you for even one second. It was just a picture - no big deal! The big deal is how far you've come and how awesome you are!!
    HUGS,
    Kathy
    3528 days ago
  • CHRISTINA791
    I have the same problem. I think I could be at my fittest, and at my ideal weight, and still fall victim to bad camera angles. Sometimes it's seems like there'll always be a long way to go, but you have the right idea... just keep at it.

    If it makes you feel better, my big race finish involved me making pukey-face while I tried not to lose the gulp of water I'd just stupidly had before pushing it through the finish line.

    (For what it's worth, you look amazing in the pictures you have posted here. Those legs look like solid muscle)
    3529 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/7/2011 6:50:37 PM
  • no profile photo CD4429274
    Out of a dozen or so photos of me from any race or event, I MAY end up liking one or two. It just isn't the type of situation where a person normally looks their best.

    Hang in there. Savor your victory and your accomplishment, and know that you are building a better, stronger, more fit YOU!
    3529 days ago
  • JICASMOM
    Ugh I know exactly where you are coming from... I saw pics from my runs and think oh my gad!!! How could that be? I felt exactly as you did. But remember all your pics are usually of standing still not flying as fast as possible... That momentum will 'shake and rattle' as you will, places you normally wouldn't see!!!! You don't have legs that look like that... Weird for me to say that, but it is true... You are moving so fast and you need to keep doing what you are doing, like u said. You r doing it and you look fantastic... You are getting stronger everyday... Don't take that away from yourself. Have a pity party if you want, I know I did... But also tell yourself nice things when you are done bc you are rockin it like a rockstar!!!
    3529 days ago
  • CERULEANBLEU
    I can totally relate to this! First off - AWESOME that you were running! I keep telling myself that I will do it, run a 5K (not walk), but I'm scared to do it... b/c it could be one more thing I could fail at.

    But not about me here - I just wanted to give you some encouragement. You are most likely a bazillion steps ahead of where you started, and have every opportunity to slide backwards here. By writing this, you put yourself out there. You admitted the frustration. That in itself is real. But you also have success. You raise the bar now and expect more from yourself. Don't drop the bar. The emotion, frustration, and irritation at the bad angle pics are just a temporary thing. Your success will last a hundred times longer!

    I may have written this for myself, as much as for you, but this fight is not a lonely one. Believe in that. Believe in yourself. Look at these pics as a milestone. Something to improve upon. You won't always look like that in your pics. It WILL get better, and one day you'll be able to look at that and say "I've come so far!"

    Chin up :)
    3529 days ago
  • NATPLUMMER
    I had the same thoughts when I saw my current profile pic. It has helped to post it, though. I am able to see myself more like other people see me.
    I'm hoping for a better looking pic from the HM in October. I totally know how you feel.
    emoticon
    3529 days ago
  • PINKBEANBOO
    I hate pictures of myself because of the same reason. I think I look better than what the camera shows. Or maybe its our eyes that are wrong - our own eyes being defective when it comes to looking at ourselves?
    Remember when your son said he was glad he had a normal mom. When translating that from little boy to real life it means you look great!

    PS: Don't forget that the camera adds 10 lbs.
    3529 days ago

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