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The Wanted Child

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Yesterday was such a strange day...and it has been heavy on my heart...so I thought I'd share in a blog.

I went to my cousin's daughter's HS graduation party this weekend. My cousin told me she just lost her job. SHe didn't need that. SHe has had a very difficult life....some of her own doing...but nonetheless. she did not need more stress.

Yesterday, she came over for a visit with her daughter. THey weren't there long when I could feel a "heaviness" in the room...and then her daughter told me - she is 18 and pregnant, with a baby from a boy she has only known for about 3 months.

WOW! I knew that my words would impact her- not sure why my opinion matters so much to her, but I am thankful she values me and what I think.

"OK...are you happy?" was what came out of my mouth. Not impressed with my first utterance...but it could have been worse. I told her that aside from thinking the timing wasn't great, a baby is always a miracle, and she was a Mom now- so she needed to start being one and taking care of this baby and herself. I told her that she should focus on herself and the baby, and if it works out with this boy- great- but I hoped she didn't feel trapped and tied to him because of the baby. She felt relieved I said that. WE went to the computer to figure out her due date- and I let her play games and take quizzes to figure the sex...boy!! We talked for a long time....and I told her, once the baby is there- it isn't a time to talk about "what if, if only...etc" SHe needed to look at the options ahead and be happy and comfortable with the choices she would need to make.

Later that day, my younger brother came over. I do not know a couple that wants a baby more than they do...they are still in the process of trying to find a child to adopt. THey just spent a week in California working on just that. His heart aches he wants to be a father so badly- and he will be the most amazing father! THeir hearts, home and life are open...and they are waiting.

It is painful for me to see such struggles on either end. I have 4 beautiful children and my life is so full because of them- I understand the desire to have that in your life. I also know how difficult it can be- and I am worried that this sweet 18 year old is going to have such a difficult life.

Then as I got in bed last night- drained from the emotions of all I was thinking- I watched the movie Juno...all about teenage pregnancy and adoption....and my TOM finally came! The power of thought I guess! Pregnancy and babies were everywhere!

Anyway, all I can do is pray...for my cousin and her daughter and this small precious baby. I am so happy the baby will be given his life- because so many teens would not even grant that. Whatever S does with her life and that of the baby, I pray that she is happy and comfortable with what she decides. Her baby was not planned, but is wanted- and I am thankful for that.

I will continue to pray from by brother and SIL- their hearts and home and life are ready for a child- and I hope God will put a baby in their arms soon! Their child...may not even be conceived yet...but is already loved and wanted.

Every child is a miracle! Life can be so complex- and yesterday showed me just how complex and different it can be for members of the same family.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LLTS01
    3504 days ago
  • DYA177
    Whew!! 18 and having a life changing decision to make. But I agree, that child is WANTED and I hope the RIGHT decision is made.

    Good luck, sister girl!!!
    3508 days ago
    Just came across this blog. How wonderful that your niece came to speak with you about her pregnancy news. Open communication is so key with teenagers these days. Things will work out in the end for both her and your brother and his wife. Please tell him not to give up hope. A family is formed in many different ways. As a young bride at 23 , I found out that my husband had cystic fibrosis and was infertile. I was more concerned about his health as he had gone his lifetime without getting proper medical
    attention and nutrition. He offered me an annulment but I wouldn't think of that. We got him proper care and settled into married life. We always wanted a family so 6 months later we began a foster care training program within our state. Before long we had an instant family! We took in two sibling girls 2 1/2 and 4 and they were officially adopted a few years later. They are my biggest accomplishment. There was never a day I thought they were not mine. Sadly the marriage did not last but he is healthy but I will always be a Mom. They have grown into beautiful loving young woman and I am so grateful to have them in my life.
    3508 days ago
    3508 days ago
    I hope she can make all the right choices for her & her child to be.
    And I pray God will answer your brothers call to be a dad.
    ((hugs)) & Prayers
    3512 days ago
    oooh wow! what a crazy day. beautiful blog. and love you!
    3513 days ago
    3513 days ago
    Wishing the best for all...babies are a blessing...a miracle!
    3513 days ago
    I do hope things work out for your family. I think what you said and did was very supportive for your cousins daughter. Support is so important especially for a young person.
    3513 days ago
  • TEMPEST272002
    I think you did very well. It's good that you're helping her consider her options and also to focus on her & the baby's well being.
    3513 days ago
    Oh, I am praying for all involved. You are such an amazing Mom and Aunt... emoticon
    3513 days ago
    I hope your brother and sister-in-law get to adopt a child soon. emoticon
    3513 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6368620
    Ugh. I just had yet another conversation with my daughter about "I hope you wait, but if you decide to have sex, tell me and I will take you to the doctor for birth control...I will not judge you or ask questions......". It's so hard for me to say that to her because it goes against everything I want for her, but I'm also a realist, and if she's going to be sexually active, she should be protected and smart about it.
    You did a fantastic job of being supportive to your niece...she's lucky to have you, and so is that baby!! I deal with a lot of pregnant teens at work, and I think the factor that makes or breaks the success of the situation is whether the girl has a supportive family.
    It's heartbreaking about your brother and SIL, too....it seems so unfair that they want to be parents so badly and are having difficulty.

    PS-haven't spoken with you in SO long! Drop me a note and let me know how you're doing...I miss you!
    3514 days ago
    So well put, every baby is a miracle. There are so many CHRISTIAN families, couples wanting a baby that I'm sure they could adopt if they chose to go that route. I know my dd and dsil have been trying w/o using birth control now for 5 years and still are not pregnant, went the fertile routte too, only made problems for my dd. God knows and prayerfully God will direct and the family will support whatever choice she makes. Just as long as she knows ABORTION is murder! That's NOT an option.
    I will pray for you and cousel wisdom and peace from God on what HE wants them to do after all that is the best!
    3514 days ago
  • GINA180847
    I agree every child should be wanted even if it is by a different couple who would cherish it. My four are the lights of my life and their children are wonderful. Day before yesterday I was talking to a woman who said her grandkids were awful children and I could not believe what I heard. Life is so precious.
    3514 days ago
    Amen, they are miracles. I hope and pray for the best with you family all around.
    3514 days ago
    I hope things works out well for all. I'm sure they will. emoticon
    3514 days ago
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