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Admitting is the first step.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Hi, my name is Amanda and I have an eating problem. You might call it a disorder, you may just call it a problem...who knows. I have to face my problems tho. It is definitely time to admit to myself and the rest of the Spark community that I LOVE food.

I am a binge eater. I do not purge what I eat, so thank goodness there. Can't say that thought never crossed my mind. But I have NEVER resorted to bulimia. When I get cravings, I eat what I crave and I eat a lot of what I crave. I feel guilty, so I hide at my house by myself and eat. I throw the packages away outside so that my husband doesn't find the evidence of my binge.

Wow, it sounds worse when you actually put it out there. There is no getting around it, I cannot lose weight bc I binge eat. I am not a naturally BIG person, my body doesn't like 150 so it sticks around that weight, I binge and my body stays this weight.

It really is a struggle for me. I'm so glad that I love working out bc if I didn't, then I would be obese. There is no getting around those facts.

So, today is my first step to conquering my addiction to foods. I went grocery shopping last night and got a lot of great foods to have around the house. I really need to get over this addiction. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the foods I love, but there is an issue when you enjoy 3-5 servings of the foods I love. I have to learn control. But I think the first step is getting the cravings out of my head.

This week, I am not only working on not binging, but I am going to work on retraining my brain to eat the right stuff. So, goal here is to stay away from Junk...nothing processed this week. All natural foods and all healthy foods. I feel like if I can get over the challenge of the crave, then I can get over the challenge of the binge.

Judge me, think what you want, but I feel like getting this out there to my Spark friends will really help them to keep me accountable for my actions this week. So, this week I plan to post all about my challenge with my binging. My success and (God forbid) my failures. I will log EVERYTHING I put into my mouth and work on keeping myself accountable for my actions.

Thanks in advance to those Spark friends that help me with this challenge.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LHINX123
    I am also with you. I try to get my hubby to eat healthy also (He has been complaining about the lbs creeping up on him but doesn't want to change what he eats) but he insists that I buy him things he will like for snacks, so I make sure I buy things I do not like. And I STILL found myself going for them :/ The good news is it does get a little easier the more you do it. One thing that helps me is when I want something reallly badly I will tell myself I can have one after I eat a huge salad or banana and that usually gives me time enough to talk myself out of the binge. You can do it!!
    3511 days ago
  • DAWNIE426
    I have the same problem...and I live by myself so it is very easy to hide! I try and keep the bad food out but being that I go food shopping on Sundays after teaching at the gym, I am just looking for food to binge on all day long! The first step is admitting it so you are definately on the right track emoticon
    3512 days ago
    WooHoo...you are so so right...admitting is the first step.....
    You are awesome...because admitting what we do behind closed doors is not easy......and the longer we keep it in the dark the longer we battle with it all....
    Well done....
    The first day of the rest of your life....
    I am so proud of you..

    I amd going to start another fast next week...not sure for how long however I will be writing down exactly what i am going to eat for each meal every day and I will have to blog to keep myself on track....
    I too have been having a lot of "junk" over the last couple of days and it shows really quickly...especially on the scales and I always feel it in my gut and thighs......

    We can journey to sort these things together....
    Right there with you...
    Love & Hugs
    3512 days ago
  • HAIL_10_
    I have the exact same problem, and honestly, I've only had it very under control for the past 14 days. I've been working for the past year and a half on recovering from anorexia/bulimia, and it was very hard to deal with the repercussions of binge eating when I had decided that it(purging/starving myself after a binge) was no longer an option.

    It's very tough to train your brain and stomach that you don't need that much food, but I've found that drinking water *realllyyyyy* helps...Also, making a plan for events that cause me to go out of control has helped immensely... (My worst is after work (before my husband comes home) and at pot-lucks/family affairs, where I could gulp down an appetizer (or 20) before anyone noticed.) I jot down what I've ate for the day, and what I plan on eating for the remainder of the day...It helps me to stay focused, and to curb that desperate feeling I get right before a binge..."I'm hungry, what can I have quickly?" and then "That didn't satisfy me, I need more food...I should have another...and another".

    Stay strong. You can do it! If you need support, feel free to call on me anytime!

    -Haley emoticon
    3512 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/25/2011 12:51:33 PM
    I also feel that if I didn't work out I would be obese. I am the same way, when I get a craving to eat something awful I eat ALOT of it, I have no self control! NOT judging you at all because I know exactly how you feel. I'll join you in challenge of no processed food this week, and logging everything I put into my mouth!
    Here's to a week of many successes and minimal failures.

    P.S. I'm adding you as a sparkfriend, I hope that's okay!
    3512 days ago
    Such an honest blog can't be easy to write. Props for analyzing yourself and then putting it out there for the world to know. I think it's A.A. that says "the first step is admitting you have a problem," right? So you're on the right track! JK, I actually think it's possible you're being too hard on yourself, but I support healthy eating so I'll hold you accountable and join you in this week long challenge. Stocking your kitchen with healthy foods is a great start!

    3512 days ago
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