The hardest part of embarking on a journey is often enjoying the ride. If I am going to some fabulous exotic beach resort, I will spend the plane ride drugged out of my mind and longing for the plane to land and let me out. I will be dreaming of beautiful white sandy beaches, handsome men with muscled arms and chests running out of the water in slow motion, water glistening of their hard pecks...um..one moment.. I'm all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves....
Where was I? Ah, yes, seems I got a little carried away with my little analogy. My point is, I am on day 5. I want to be on day 300.
I know that this journey is not just about the destination, it is about the scenery along the way, the rest stops and the people you meet at the quaint run down dinners. See each day I get a little bit healthier, each day I lose a little bit of weight and each day I get close to cementing this new life change, making it a habit rather than a challenge.
Yet with this knowledge, I still look forward to the end result. Shopping in a regular store. Buying Victoria Secret underwear. Buying pretty high healed shoes. Having men look at me and finding me attractive. Feeling like a sexy vibrant woman. Making love. Going out and not looking at everyone and thinking I am the fattest person here. Did I mention buying really cute outfits from normal stores?
So I have to remind myself that this is about the journey too. Every step of the way I am experiencing something and I should be grateful for that. Now when I lie awake at night, unable to sleep and the little voice begins whispering "Is this it? Is this all I have to look forward to? Will I wake up tomorrow an 80 year old overweight woman unhappy, alone and scared?" I can say back, "NO! This is not it. I am working towards my own happiness and I will find it."
When I struggle with finding new ways to make my food, I can revel in the knowledge that next time it will be easier because each time I am adding on to my repertoire.
When I look in the mirror and begin to fanaticize about being thin, I can remind myself that every day I am a little bit thinner. Each day I am a little bit healthier. If I was not making this lifestyle change, none of it would be happening.
Good things come to those who wait. Or rather, good things come in time to those who work hard and are patient and consistent.
The journey my friends is really what it is all about. The build of the anticipation of the destination, the hard work that goes into it all makes the final destination so much more enjoyable.
Life is so precious. We are so lucky to be here to experience all of the ups and downs.
My goal is to enjoy the journey and not sabotage myself because it will take some time to get to my final destination.