So I am 10 weeks pregnant today and yesterday I splurged and bought my first pair of maternity pants. I haven't really gained any weight, maybe a few pounds, but my work pants and especially jeans were no longer comfortable while sitting. Standing they are ok, but sitting for 10 hours a day (2 hours commuting and 8 at work) I was feeling uncomfortable. I haven't needed any new shirts yet, and I am TOTALLY regretting getting rid of all of my really cute 'fat' clothes that no longer fit me. I even had a super cute houndstooth jacket that I got a Target 4 years ago that was actually a maternity jacket that was on clearance that I would have loved to have this winter.
So I announced my comfort on facebook so that my fellow pregnant friends, friends & mothers and whoever else reads my status updates would be informed about my new-found comfort.
My status: oh HELLO maternity pants...so this is what comfort feels like!
AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS WROTE: Already??
SO F***ING RUDE. Are you kidding me? Yes I am in maternity pants. I even went on a forum to see when others had started wearing maternity pants. Some people even started in week 8. Everyone is different. She isn't a mom so I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that whatever. It bothers me since she is someone I consider a really close friend. I can't help but wonder that she might be jealous. We always joked that we should be pregnant around the same time so that we could enjoy it together and our kids could be best friends. I wonder if she is unhappy that she doesn't have what I have. Whatever the reason it hurt. Whatever I am getting over it.
Insensitive. Pregnancy hormones = regular (semi-crazy) girl brain x 1 million which equals emotional rollercoaster, could cry at any moment sort of feeling. I am feeling hurt. I had a breakdown the other night because I know that I will gain weight through this. Trevor didn't really understand. Maybe you guys will.
The pictures that I took of myself before I now use as reminders of a girl that I will never look like again. A girl that I realized was unhappy and didn't think that she was beautiful. Obviously I know I am going to gain weight for this baby. It is just really hard knowing that I started my journey at 220. I got down to 186 and I was on my way to my goal. I am not calling this a set-back, it is life and I could not be happier that I am going to be a mom. But it is still hard to see the scale creep up and not be able to do anything about it.
I wonder if it is different for someone who has always been around their goal weight, to gain weight during pregnancy. What kind of a shock it is to carry extra weight around. Maybe I have the upper hand since I have carried an extra 30 pounds around with me (I am hoping to gain max 20 - my healthy weight gain is 11-20 pounds).
If I am going to take positive things away from this it is that:
1. I have lost the weight before & I can do it again.
2. The size 14 maternity pants that I bought yesterday at Target are still a bit big for me and hey - I used to wear a size 20.
3. I used to buy a few maternity items when I wasn't even pregnant because they fit better, and now I buy them because I have to.
4. I will be beautiful and healthy throughout my pregnancy no matter what size/weight I become.
5. I will be a stylish pregnant woman.
6. I will not let other people's opinions or comments effect me (especially those from people who have not had kids and therefor don't understand how uncomfortable it is to be in pants that cut into your tummy in weird places).
7. I will be a wonderful mother.
8. Maybe this is the ultimate motivation that I never had before, thus why I had reached a stand-still with my weightloss.
9. I will surround myself with positive energy, creativity and love.
10. I am growing exactly as I should and my body is the cushy home for my baby which is none of anyone else's business but my own.