Just some random thinking.....
Saturday, September 24, 2011
If you are reading this...HELLO!! First off...Happy Birthday to my Phoenix sister Marsha!! And a special Happy 1st birthday to Katie's little one!! First birthdays are very special!! Also congrats go out to the Mocha Hunters and the Crimson Butterflies for the TNT challenge this week!! Phoenix...we have some serious competition out there. We need to start steeping it up and challenging ourselves a bit more. We only had 12 out of 30 members participate this week. Like Rhonda and Jane have said many times...it's about PARTICIPATION...not PERFECTION!! Even if you can only do so much right now, it is getting you moving.
As for my own personal struggle with weight loss...it continues to be a struggle. I think it is more of a struggle now that I am working first shift than when I was working second shift. I need to vamp things up a bit. I have been getting some workouts in, but not near like I should. I get up every day at 4:30 am and I am in bed no later than 9 pm every night. By the time I get home from work, working out is the LAST thing I feel like doing. And some days, it is just that...I don't. This HAS to stop! I feel so much better after a good workout...so why do I procrastinate in doing them more often??
I think I am afraid. Afraid of what you may be asking. I am afraid of not being the "fat" girl believe it or not. I have always been overweight. It is what I know. I don't know how to be healthy or within my ideal body weight. The thought of the unknown is a scary thing. Maybe some of you are sitting there reading this completely understanding what I am saying. Maybe some of you don't get it. Being overweight for almost 37 years, I have grown comfortable with myself...even if I don't like how I look...it is comfortable. And when we are comfortable...do we like to do something that makes us feel uncomfortable??
But I joined 2 teams this fall. I have others depending on me to do my part for the team. I need to just get off my (ever-growing) caboose and cast my fears aside. My teammates don't ask me to be perfect and do more than I can handle. All they ask is that I do my best...but at least make an honest effort to do what is asked of me. So I owe it to them...but mostly to myself...to do just that.
I used to be very vigilant about tracking every little thing that went into my mouth. I have gotten away from that. But in all fairness...even when I did track all my food on here, I still didn't lose weight. It took up too much of my time on here trying to find foods that I ate...or manually entering all the information. That is time wasted in my book. That is time I could have been working out or even spending time with my family and playing with my kids. But I will start keeping track of everything I ate in a notebook for my own personal reference. Maybe this will help, maybe not. If anything, maybe it will help me see trigger foods, events, or times of day that are sabotaging me.
So, with this being nutrition week in my BLC team, I will make doing this more of a priority. My goals in my 5% challenge are to not eat fried foods...which I am usually very good with. However, I did make some fried fish the other night for dinner. Tonight was pizza...loaded with veggies. Both not good choices, but tonight's was a little healthier than the fried food the other night. I need to go back to when I did away with everything. I ate no pastas/starches, no soda/ juices/ alcohol, and absolutely no fried foods. I ate lots of salads and lean meats such as chicken and turkey. I exercised 2 or 3 hours every day...no exception. I lost 24 pounds. I was almost to my ideal body weight.
So I need to get over my fear of being healthy. I need to take losing weight a little more serious. I need to get in a zone...and stay there. There is nothing to be scared of. If people who are in their 60's and beyond can do The Biggest Loser...so can I!! So I am off to do some Wii Fit before bed. Or maybe I will do my Wii Just Dance since dancing burns a lot of calories. I am thinking about getting the Zumba for the Wii. Does anyone have it or anyone try it? How is it? Is it a good workout? Ok well off to get moving.