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Your opinion please...am I over reacting?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I had the most awesome and motivating trainer. She helped me so much and I loved working out with her. At the end of July she broke the news...she was moving out of state. I felt like crying but at the same time so happy to see her so happy and taking a step in the direction she was working so hard for.

She recommended another trainer and from the get go I didn't feel that connection. Our second workout, she was a no show. No sweat...it was 5am and it forced me to make my own workout. She texted me later after realizing she missed me on the schedule. I told her that it was no problem at all and that I was fine. I told her that I understood things happen and I wasn't bothered. When she was having issues with her back I would text and ask how she was. Twice she was in so much pain and I suggested that we reschedule. She was really grateful.

Long story shorter...we've been working out for awhile now and I had to cancel one morning bcuz my son was sick. I text her at 4am in case she didn't have a 4:30 client she would know before she left her house. I was really surprised when she came back
with a comment about how her 4:30 client was a "no-show" too and that she was are
dy sitting there with nothing to do.

In the course of us working out we've become friends. I've been to her house and my daughter has even went to yoga with her. We talk often and know
about each others lives. She knows that I'm going thru stuff as a single mom and I'm have
g to reevaluate my schedule and I don't know what time works now. I'm gone like 12 hours a day, preschool started (extra $500 month), I have a new boss and an situation at work that stresses me out, my 20 year old is trying to be a young adult and watching her little brother isn't always an option.

I had to cxl training again a few weeks ago at the last minute and unfortunately 5am its hard to give an advanced heads-up and my trainers comments this time was that she'd have to charge me for the session (keep in mind they've owed me a session back for 6 months and it hasn't happened- club mgr is less worried about that then resigning u ) so she also told me how much it sucked that I had to cxl because if she doesn't charge me she gets paid less.

so this bothered me a lot. I've spent so much money and time into training. To be exact I have been doing this since Aug 2010 and I've only canceled 3 times in over a year. All 3 times unfortunately happened with her.

So last week when we worked out I was a bit quiet, just thinking while we worked out and still irritated about her comment (btw she never charged me) but it appears that she makes snarky little comments then says stuff like I'm here for you, etc. Its confusing. So last week I was quiet. I gave her a hug at the end and said I'll let her know about my schedule.

I canceled the 3rd time last week. Honestly I'm overwhelmed and I didn't want to work out with her I still have been feeling like her comments bothered me. I admit...I lied. I told her I had a fever and sore throat and wasn't going and to charge me for the session. She never responded. All day. Then later that evening she textd and said "are you going to keep training on Thursday mornings?". I called the club and removed myself from the schedule. I'm trying to determine when I can train and thinking about transferring my last 6 sessions to the club y my work. I never responded to the trainer.

So she textd today (I'm not even on her schedule) and said again "are you coming this thursday"...then added "bcuz I hate getting out of bed for nothing. It sucks" these are the comments that have been bothering me.

I just replied No, and that it was never my intention to waste her time and her comments at times have bothered me and make me feel bad, even if unintentional" I also added that I called and was already off the schedule.

OMG I got 7 texts back. Starting with what have I ever done but support you and I had other stuff going on and now its her fault (with a bunch of !?????) and how she has 3 early clients and something always happens and it sucks to go into work for nothing and how I need to understand that and something about how calling and removing myself makes her look bad to the manager and how she's really hurt by that. She also added that she's always been there for me and the last time we worked out it was awkward and she wanted to "crawl in a hole" and then she said she was sorry and not sure what she did.

I didn't respond. I already wanted to transfer the sessions to a diff gym and work out my last few with a guy and just once a week. With me fitting in a home workout and one other gym day.

Seriously am I tripping or is that unprofessional? I'm like at least 10 years older than this girl and maybe age has something to do with it but I've been feeling like this for awhile.

I learned something from all 3 of my trainers over the course of a year. I may have not needed to spend the money but there was a time I only knew the treadmill. I can put workouts together and rock the gym now. All I want for my last few sessions is drama free hardcore workout. I want advice on how to keep it new and creative so I can be onfident when I go out on my own...completely. I think I just need a new "guy" and no personal attachment and just a solid push me to the limit last few workouts.

Any thoughts? I'm the type of person that hates to make people feel bad or end relationships but I have been feeling less than happy lately and that is not her fault. The comments piss me off and I don't want to just keep with her because I feel bad. I did this for me in the first place.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow! Just read your reply and glad that you are going in a different direction. Definitely unprofessional.

    3320 days ago
    Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better now. It was really bothering me.

    I'm going to set up some time with a new trainer to workout my last few sessions with someone else..or better yet give them to my daughter since she just started emoticon

    I know what to do and its time to move on.

    3321 days ago
    You're not overreacting. She is being unprofessional and I realize you became close, that's kinda normal if choose to be social. But she should separate the two things or she'll never make it.

    I agree with the other posters.

    Move on, you have the knowledge. Good luck! *huggzz*
    3321 days ago
    If you are spending money on training sessions and not getting what you need/want it is completely your right to switch them and/or stop going there. You need to put your feelings first, not hers. Move on girl!!
    3323 days ago
    I agree with Sandy. Everyone is not a perfect fit. Too much drama going on here.
    people canceling is part of the job.

    You are not over reacting. you are paying good money for a trainer and do not need listen to her bologna. When you switch, she will learn a lesson in public relations. no worries. Finish your training with someone that pushes you and enjoy your own creative work outs!
    3323 days ago
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    It sounds like you and her want two different things. You're moving toward being independent, and she wants a steady client. So you were bound to clash sooner or later. It's too bad though, because she had become a family friend. Sometimes when we become friends with someone, they lose their professionalism. Maybe that's part of what happened with her behavior. I had a trainer that said something rude, and I couldn't go back. It definitely has no place in a training session. If she still wants to be friends, you should tell her that her snarky comments were out of line. That's not really being there for you.
    3323 days ago
    Time to move on & start fresh...Good luck... emoticon
    3323 days ago
    I would definitely be switching trainers. Her behavior is completely unprofessional and inappropriate. You should enjoy your training sessions- it really helps to motivate you to come back. Good luck!
    3323 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9136158
    Dump her and find your independance- make your own workouts.. You know what you have to do, time to see if you can apply all the stuff you have learned.. If you get bored look up the internet for inspiration.. We have to do this for life.. It will be easier to come and go as you please without having to rely on someone doing a no show or getting up set..

    I never have had money for a trainer- and never will I got the muscle deal without anyones help.. That kinda makes doing stuff under own steam all worth while..

    3323 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/25/2011 11:13:33 PM
    3323 days ago
    I don't think you're overreacting at all. This is incredibly unprofessional. Regardless of how close you two have become, she is still your trainer, and needs to be able to keep that professional sense about her. I don't blame you for switching trainers. You don't need that stress.
    3323 days ago
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