Thursday, October 20, 2011
Definition of 'serenity' Webster Dictionary
1. (noun) serenity
the quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace
2. (noun) serenity
calmness of mind; eveness of temper; undisturbed state; coolness; composure
Last year I had this feeling. For several months now, I have not.
I believe this is because I have lost focus and forward momentum. My life has become a morass of muddled half accomplishments with little sense of direction.
The huge step forward in 2010 brought me out of medicated ill health, self- deprecation, and stagnancy into a life of taking responsibility for myself and taking pride in myself. That was never intended to be an end to progress however.
Cruising along for a while was good, randomly contemplating the next options open to me. But it no longer feels good to me to simply maintain the status quo; I need to forge on into new territory in my life.
I started my environmentally friendly housekeeping business for a number of reasons. I was confident that I could make enough to live on. I am good at what I do (I keep my customers and have had to turn down a number of new ones lately). I believe in the value of the work. I like the physical nature of the work. I was confident that I could comfortably continue to do this until “retirement age”.
I am now 56 years old. I now can no longer imagine wanting to retire from working but housekeeping is also not something I find broadly fulfilling enough to spend the next 30 years doing, even though I find that I serve as much more than a “cleaner” to my customers. I am an ear for troubled parents and lonely seniors, a source of information on the environment and nutrition for all manner of people, a sort of security blanket for people.
Since my discovery that personal health management, proper nutrition and physical activity, can revolutionize a life that has lost all luster I feel compelled to share the message. My new mission is to turn this into a career.
To that end I am withdrawing from activity that takes the time and energy I need to direct toward professional development. I have deep regret at the need to end my Spark activity. I will not delete my page or set it to private. Hopefully there are things on it that can help people even though I am inactive. I have pride in what I have done so far and hope one day to be able to return here.
Having taken this decision this morning, I feel serenity.
To all of you I say-
Have pride in yourself, have courage, give yourselves the best life you can.