Finally Getting Started!!
Saturday, December 03, 2011
I have struggled with weight all my life....have started and stopped too many diets and exercise programs to even mention. So why am I finally getting serious about doing something about it? I think the main motivation is that I turned 50 in September. I had so many hopes and aspirations for my life that never came to fruition. Even this year, when January rolled around, I told myself that things would be different. That by the time my birthday came around I would have lost 50 pounds. I had been planning to go to Europe in September with a couple of my sisters to celebrate our birthdays and I told myself I would be fit and ready to go. Well, we still went(see a couple of the pictures), but the fitness part never happened. I was so disappointed in myself! While we did lots of walking, I can only imagine how much more enjoyable the trip would have been if I wasn't exhausted at the end of each day.
I have read so many articles on this site about "discovering your triggers" and what stops you from being successful. But that has never been a problem for me. I know exactly why I continually sabotage myself. I have procrastinated about writing about this, because it is so personal; but have come to realize that part of my healing is to say the words out loud and not be afraid and ashamed anymore. I am a survivor of sexual abuse, both as a child and an adult. I was molested at seven years old and date raped in college. There, I said it....taking a moment to be proud of myself
As you might imagine, trust is a big issue for me, so I've used my weight to keep me away from people and situations that might (in my mind) hurt me again.
Those dreams and aspirations I mentioned earlier that I had for my life....well, I've decided, its not too late to still realize some of those. And at the top of the list is to get healthy, both mentally and physically, so that I can do many of the things on my list. And I'm hoping this site is going to be a big help in realizing my goals. I feel a little stronger each day that I read about how others are coping and succeeding, and it gives me hope for myself. These are just the first steps of a long journey to regain my life!